Thank God (Budah, Allah, Captain Kangaroo, whothefuckever) for Black motherfucking Sabbath, baby.
Saturday was one of those nights that was unique in that it managed to both suck and blow at the same time.
There is a term in professional wrestling for when something goes bad and that term is "the drizziling shits". For example, say I went out and fucked my whole match up on any given night, when I got back to the backstage area someone would kindly inform me that my match had been "the drizziling shits". I take the time to expalin this so you'll understand what I mean when I say that the show Saturday night was "the biggest, fuck-upedest, rocket powered, nuclear, screaming, drizziling shits" that i've ever had the displeasure to have been involved in. That includes the night we had to chase a fellow wrestler out of the building due to the fact that he was drunk and belligerent(sp?). Yes, it was that bad.
For those of you who might not have seen my last couple of journal entrys or who might not know me let me explain exactly what i'm talking about, I had a wrestling show this past Saturday night, i'm a wrestler. Well, i'm trained to wrestle but right now I work as a manager (athough the way I manage is closer to wrestling than a lot of wrestlers get) because i'm real good at it and can make people hate my guts in the blink of makeup covered eye. Hey, what can I say it's a natural born talent, just ask my Mom.
The show was doomed from moment one, it had been cancelled a month or so ago so the company naturally announced that it wasn't going to happen, then we get the word a week or so ago that it was back on and to show up, cool for us but very bad for the hopes of having a decent turn out. Their ended up being a gigantic crowd of something like 20 people or so and those lifeless fuckers wouldn't have gotten up and had any sort of reaction if you had hooked them up to a God Damned car battery. The less said about them the less likely I am to break something, so, moving right along.
Combine that with the fact that because of the confusion with the show that all of our "workers" (wrestlers) that usually come down from Kentucky had made other plans to "work" (wrestle) for other companies closer to home and couldn't show up for our show. That means we lost both members of H.N.I.C, and Josiah Kane just to name a few (not that those names mean shit to most of you).
Then when Promo, our "booker" (the person who makes the matches) was in the back trying to come up with a card for the evening this guy who calls himself Maddogg went and got all pissy when no one jumped up and volunteered to "work" him so he assumed that it meant no one wanted to "work" him due to a lack of respect. I learned just today that this misunderstanding has apparently led to Maddoggs early, if not well deserved, retirement from the ring and I can't honestly say i'm sorry to hear of it. Peace out, you whiny bitch you.
So, Promo decides that it's time for my man Frost to drop the Heavywieght strap to our fellow wrestler and good buddy Ryan "Showtime" Jeffries. We were extremely cool with this because we all felt like Ryan deserves it, he's been with the company for four years and has never held any Heavywieght title anywhere before now. We got all of the details of the match ironed out and we go out and do it.....unfortunately the match was, again, "the drizziling shits". It really wasn't any one persons fault that was involved in the match, there's just off nights some nights and this was one of them. Everyone involved in the match got injured, including me. "Showtime" fucked up his left shoulder pretty good, Frost broke a rib or two, Promo who had been the guest Referee broke his finger, and I didn't tell anyone but I may have fractured my right leg when I took a bad "bump" (fall) to the outside. It really dissapointed me because I had wanted to see something better since it was Ryans night, oh well, maybe we can make the next one better.
All in all it was one of those nights that you just pray will end quickly but seems to go on forfuckingever.
We got paid (out of someones pocket I suspect, due to the dismal turnout), went and ate, and went the fuck home to try and forget the night ever happened.
Ah, the illustrious life of the professional wrestler.
Saturday was one of those nights that was unique in that it managed to both suck and blow at the same time.
There is a term in professional wrestling for when something goes bad and that term is "the drizziling shits". For example, say I went out and fucked my whole match up on any given night, when I got back to the backstage area someone would kindly inform me that my match had been "the drizziling shits". I take the time to expalin this so you'll understand what I mean when I say that the show Saturday night was "the biggest, fuck-upedest, rocket powered, nuclear, screaming, drizziling shits" that i've ever had the displeasure to have been involved in. That includes the night we had to chase a fellow wrestler out of the building due to the fact that he was drunk and belligerent(sp?). Yes, it was that bad.
For those of you who might not have seen my last couple of journal entrys or who might not know me let me explain exactly what i'm talking about, I had a wrestling show this past Saturday night, i'm a wrestler. Well, i'm trained to wrestle but right now I work as a manager (athough the way I manage is closer to wrestling than a lot of wrestlers get) because i'm real good at it and can make people hate my guts in the blink of makeup covered eye. Hey, what can I say it's a natural born talent, just ask my Mom.
The show was doomed from moment one, it had been cancelled a month or so ago so the company naturally announced that it wasn't going to happen, then we get the word a week or so ago that it was back on and to show up, cool for us but very bad for the hopes of having a decent turn out. Their ended up being a gigantic crowd of something like 20 people or so and those lifeless fuckers wouldn't have gotten up and had any sort of reaction if you had hooked them up to a God Damned car battery. The less said about them the less likely I am to break something, so, moving right along.
Combine that with the fact that because of the confusion with the show that all of our "workers" (wrestlers) that usually come down from Kentucky had made other plans to "work" (wrestle) for other companies closer to home and couldn't show up for our show. That means we lost both members of H.N.I.C, and Josiah Kane just to name a few (not that those names mean shit to most of you).
Then when Promo, our "booker" (the person who makes the matches) was in the back trying to come up with a card for the evening this guy who calls himself Maddogg went and got all pissy when no one jumped up and volunteered to "work" him so he assumed that it meant no one wanted to "work" him due to a lack of respect. I learned just today that this misunderstanding has apparently led to Maddoggs early, if not well deserved, retirement from the ring and I can't honestly say i'm sorry to hear of it. Peace out, you whiny bitch you.
So, Promo decides that it's time for my man Frost to drop the Heavywieght strap to our fellow wrestler and good buddy Ryan "Showtime" Jeffries. We were extremely cool with this because we all felt like Ryan deserves it, he's been with the company for four years and has never held any Heavywieght title anywhere before now. We got all of the details of the match ironed out and we go out and do it.....unfortunately the match was, again, "the drizziling shits". It really wasn't any one persons fault that was involved in the match, there's just off nights some nights and this was one of them. Everyone involved in the match got injured, including me. "Showtime" fucked up his left shoulder pretty good, Frost broke a rib or two, Promo who had been the guest Referee broke his finger, and I didn't tell anyone but I may have fractured my right leg when I took a bad "bump" (fall) to the outside. It really dissapointed me because I had wanted to see something better since it was Ryans night, oh well, maybe we can make the next one better.
All in all it was one of those nights that you just pray will end quickly but seems to go on forfuckingever.
We got paid (out of someones pocket I suspect, due to the dismal turnout), went and ate, and went the fuck home to try and forget the night ever happened.
Ah, the illustrious life of the professional wrestler.
VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
I can't believe I wasted time watching that. I could have been .... well ... anything really and it woulda been more entertaining.