An emotionally fucked up week...it's been. I found myself laying in bed last night, humming a song that I didn't recognize. Have you ever done that? It was coming from somewhere inside...I know I'm not a composer, so it had to be something I've heard before.
I closed my eyes and drifted among the notes and melody, and from somewhere the words came...
On my own pretending he's beside me,
all alone I walk with him till morning,
without him I feel his arms around me
and when I lose my way I close my eyes and he has found me.
In the rain the pavement shines like silver,
all the lights are misty in the river,
in the darkness the trees are full of starlight...
and all I see is him and me forever and forever.
But I know it's only in my mind,
that I'm talking to myself and not to him.
And although I know that he is blind,
still I say, there's a way for us.
I love him
But when the night is over,
he's gone the river's just a river.
Without him the world around me changes,
the trees are bare and everywhere the streets are full of strangers.
I love him
But every day I'm learning,
all my life I've only been pretending.
Without me his world would go on turning,
a world that's full of happiness that I have never known.
I love him...I love him...I love him,
but only on my own!
Les Miserables has always had a special place in my heart, and speaks a truth that I can't comprehend.
"...we're on our way."
Those words echoed a sigh of relief. I just got off the phone with my Gram. Her, my mom, and my aunt are coming to collect me and my crap for the next week. I can't wait to get lost in my family...regardless of the purpose of the trip, they are a comfort that is beyond words.
...what was originally planned as the week Stace and I would be moving into the new house...then became a vacation to get out of town for a couple of days after turning 30...has now become surgery and recovery week. It's become a joke around the station that this is the only way I'm permitted to take a vacation...I would laugh if it wasn't laced with the truth.
So, I'll be out for a bit recovering, regrouping, and re-defining a future that has so much to offer. Be well, my lovelies...and I'll catch you on the flip side.
I closed my eyes and drifted among the notes and melody, and from somewhere the words came...
On my own pretending he's beside me,
all alone I walk with him till morning,
without him I feel his arms around me
and when I lose my way I close my eyes and he has found me.
In the rain the pavement shines like silver,
all the lights are misty in the river,
in the darkness the trees are full of starlight...
and all I see is him and me forever and forever.
But I know it's only in my mind,
that I'm talking to myself and not to him.
And although I know that he is blind,
still I say, there's a way for us.
I love him
But when the night is over,
he's gone the river's just a river.
Without him the world around me changes,
the trees are bare and everywhere the streets are full of strangers.
I love him
But every day I'm learning,
all my life I've only been pretending.
Without me his world would go on turning,
a world that's full of happiness that I have never known.
I love him...I love him...I love him,
but only on my own!
Les Miserables has always had a special place in my heart, and speaks a truth that I can't comprehend.
"...we're on our way."
Those words echoed a sigh of relief. I just got off the phone with my Gram. Her, my mom, and my aunt are coming to collect me and my crap for the next week. I can't wait to get lost in my family...regardless of the purpose of the trip, they are a comfort that is beyond words.
...what was originally planned as the week Stace and I would be moving into the new house...then became a vacation to get out of town for a couple of days after turning 30...has now become surgery and recovery week. It's become a joke around the station that this is the only way I'm permitted to take a vacation...I would laugh if it wasn't laced with the truth.
So, I'll be out for a bit recovering, regrouping, and re-defining a future that has so much to offer. Be well, my lovelies...and I'll catch you on the flip side.
VIEW 25 of 38 COMMENTS
jp:
Hey sweety. Just checkin in with you. Hope you're doin alright. You know I do worry about you when I don't hear from you.
supernovice:
how are you holding up?