josephene

This morning, at 4:45, when I was walking into the station, I could have sworn the birds were screaming at me. Initially, my instinct was to scream back at them, however...I just didn't. I'm just tired.

Yesterday, I went back to the future-telling tunnel, also known as the MRI machine. I found myself laying perfectly still with the only movement the stream of tears running down the sides of my face. I'm just tired.

I want to redecorate. I look around the rooms and I don't see myself reflected on the walls. Pretty pictures, that I would put up for someone shallow and without a sense of themselves, not me. Then I look at a picture that Catie sent me for Christmas, a beautiful fairy, and I see a part of me in it. I remember how well she knows me and how the hours of conversations we've shared resulted in her seeing that and knowing how I would love it. I see the blue picture that SpeedPhreak sent a few feet down, and I remember a special moment, and remember what a special, thoughtful person he is for sharing the photo with me. I want, now more than ever, for the walls that encase me to reflect me. However, I'm just tired.

My dreams are stronger than my will...so for now, I'll just share them with you. Things will get better, don't worry...it's basketball playoff time, and a night race this weekend, how can it go wrong?