I guess I had a pretty average night. There was only one real obstacle I had to overcome, and it proved to be rather minor. Every time I see the red and blue flashers around me, I'm afraid they've come for me. Up until now, it's always proved to be a groundless and ridiculous fear. The officer walked into my store around 1am, when no one else was around. I knew right away, this was it, a problem had arisen.
I was shaking with fear, but I greeted him as casually as I could, asking how his night was. He simply stared at me with a serious look on his face, and said, " so, do you remember when you killed all those people in Canada and New York in 2002, then claimed it was an evil troll called Carl Higgins who had set out to make your life Hell by killing everyone you came in contacted with, simply because you had a tent, and he did not?"
"I certainly do not recall that!" I replied to him,
Again he simply stared at me, eyebrows raised.
"I mean, of course I remember when Carl Higgins killed them." I said. " But I don't know what you're talking about, claiming I killed anyone. I was as shocked as anyone when he shot Sylvester Stallone in his cabin by the lake. I never would have done that. Sylvester had been so nice to me; he offered to go get me oars for his boat!
"But that old lady... the witch with the wild eyes... I guess she had it coming. She wouldn't lead me to the Headless Horseman's grave, and was trying to run me out of town I'm glad Carl Higgins got her
"Also, did you know Carl Higgins threw apples at my tent? He's a fucking cunt."
Suddenly the cop went for his gun, or was thinking about it, at least, I think. I knew there was no time left to convince him, I was running out of options, I had to act fast. I didn't have any pity for him anyway. How dare he accuse me of the things Carl Higgins did back then. Not to mention the fact that he's been haunting my life ever since, popping up at random intervals, and causing much evil in my life.
I was too quick for him him, before he could even react I had already removed half his face with my claw hammer I keep under the register. He screamed. It was loud. It hurt my earholes. I loath people who hurt my earholes. I didn't make him suffer, he simply disappeared quickly.
While I was standing there covered in blood, and face parts, looking at the man who was clearly sent by Carl Higgins himself a customer walked in the door. I knew him, so I wasn't too worried. He's a cool enough guy. He's a rouge mail man who stole a post office truck in the 70's and still races around in it today. He looked at the evil on the floor, then at me, and back to the evil. I just stood there, waiting patiently. Finally his eyes made their way back to me. I smiled and politely and said "don't worry, your Tahitian treat Treat is on me tonight, all three of them"
He looked concerned about something for a minute, who knows what, then relaxed a bit, and nodded. I'm sure he understood the situation just fine. That Carl Higgins had struck again, but to make sure, when he was leaving, I called out to him, "someone really needs to do something about that fucking troll!" He must not have heard me though, because he started walking faster, and went out the door.
It's getting pretty ridiculous, I can't believe Carl Higgins killed another innocent person.
I was shaking with fear, but I greeted him as casually as I could, asking how his night was. He simply stared at me with a serious look on his face, and said, " so, do you remember when you killed all those people in Canada and New York in 2002, then claimed it was an evil troll called Carl Higgins who had set out to make your life Hell by killing everyone you came in contacted with, simply because you had a tent, and he did not?"
"I certainly do not recall that!" I replied to him,
Again he simply stared at me, eyebrows raised.
"I mean, of course I remember when Carl Higgins killed them." I said. " But I don't know what you're talking about, claiming I killed anyone. I was as shocked as anyone when he shot Sylvester Stallone in his cabin by the lake. I never would have done that. Sylvester had been so nice to me; he offered to go get me oars for his boat!
"But that old lady... the witch with the wild eyes... I guess she had it coming. She wouldn't lead me to the Headless Horseman's grave, and was trying to run me out of town I'm glad Carl Higgins got her
"Also, did you know Carl Higgins threw apples at my tent? He's a fucking cunt."
Suddenly the cop went for his gun, or was thinking about it, at least, I think. I knew there was no time left to convince him, I was running out of options, I had to act fast. I didn't have any pity for him anyway. How dare he accuse me of the things Carl Higgins did back then. Not to mention the fact that he's been haunting my life ever since, popping up at random intervals, and causing much evil in my life.
I was too quick for him him, before he could even react I had already removed half his face with my claw hammer I keep under the register. He screamed. It was loud. It hurt my earholes. I loath people who hurt my earholes. I didn't make him suffer, he simply disappeared quickly.
While I was standing there covered in blood, and face parts, looking at the man who was clearly sent by Carl Higgins himself a customer walked in the door. I knew him, so I wasn't too worried. He's a cool enough guy. He's a rouge mail man who stole a post office truck in the 70's and still races around in it today. He looked at the evil on the floor, then at me, and back to the evil. I just stood there, waiting patiently. Finally his eyes made their way back to me. I smiled and politely and said "don't worry, your Tahitian treat Treat is on me tonight, all three of them"
He looked concerned about something for a minute, who knows what, then relaxed a bit, and nodded. I'm sure he understood the situation just fine. That Carl Higgins had struck again, but to make sure, when he was leaving, I called out to him, "someone really needs to do something about that fucking troll!" He must not have heard me though, because he started walking faster, and went out the door.
It's getting pretty ridiculous, I can't believe Carl Higgins killed another innocent person.
melyza:
