So there I was, driving down the highway as usual. I'm getting passed by a truck with the logo of the "Batesville Casket Company". What a morbid business to be in. Frankly I've never really understood the point of a fancy coffin anyhow considering (a) you're DEAD so it isn't as if you can enjoy it, and (b) other people only briefly see the thing anyhow before they chuck you in the ground and toss dirt on top of it. Not to mention the fact that you're literally decomposing inside of it. Which all leads me to the opinion that I would just prefer to be stuck in an oven and cremated. If it is absolutely necessary to be in a box prior to the toasting process, I'd like to opt for cardboard or pine. Whatever is cheapest and still feasible.
But the real point here was the company slogan painted on the truck. It amused me enough to bring this up in my blog. It said: "Heaven Can Wait."
I'm slightly confused.
What exactly does that mean in this context? Is the company trying to imply that their coffins are so fantastic that you just would rather hang out in them for a while before your glorious ascension to heaven? If so, that has got to be the most retarded thing I have ever heard.
First of all, I'm an atheist. So of course TO ME, the whole idea of heaven is complete bullshit to begin with. But even putting that aside, I have to laugh. Even going under the assumption that all of the religious dogma was fact, the idea that anyone would have a choice about how long they actually get to enjoy the time in the luxury coffin is completely preposterous. Newsflash: you're D-E-A-D. Nobody... especially you... will give a shit how nice the satin fabric on the cushions inside your eternal resting box are. The fucker could have a googlephonic stereo system and virtual reality display inside and the bottom line would remain the same... it's all a big fucking waste of money.
So yeah. But the most amusing thing of all is that LOTS of Americans are certainly stupid enough to spend many thousands of dollars on the most awesomest of caskets. Maybe those are the same people putting low profile wheels on their Humvees.
But the real point here was the company slogan painted on the truck. It amused me enough to bring this up in my blog. It said: "Heaven Can Wait."
I'm slightly confused.
What exactly does that mean in this context? Is the company trying to imply that their coffins are so fantastic that you just would rather hang out in them for a while before your glorious ascension to heaven? If so, that has got to be the most retarded thing I have ever heard.
First of all, I'm an atheist. So of course TO ME, the whole idea of heaven is complete bullshit to begin with. But even putting that aside, I have to laugh. Even going under the assumption that all of the religious dogma was fact, the idea that anyone would have a choice about how long they actually get to enjoy the time in the luxury coffin is completely preposterous. Newsflash: you're D-E-A-D. Nobody... especially you... will give a shit how nice the satin fabric on the cushions inside your eternal resting box are. The fucker could have a googlephonic stereo system and virtual reality display inside and the bottom line would remain the same... it's all a big fucking waste of money.
So yeah. But the most amusing thing of all is that LOTS of Americans are certainly stupid enough to spend many thousands of dollars on the most awesomest of caskets. Maybe those are the same people putting low profile wheels on their Humvees.
But if I don't go off to where-ever (if there is a where-ever) prepared, my boy scout leader would come back from his grave and kick my ass. Did that make any sense?
That is why there better be a can of PBR and a hundred dollar bill in my coffin. Who knows, maybe there is poker in the afterlife??!!?!?
PS - i am pretty jaded on religion as well. i am a scientist. prove to me there is something out there and i might start believing, until then, I have ideas....