Ok so my choice went something like this: i was feeling nervous about jimmy and i being together because it had the potential to be so finial and i have this funny thing about not really being ready to step up to the plate on serious commitment (insert you're so young and you don't need to worry about it ect ect here).
So after spending time away i came back to my phone mailbox being full of messages and both jimmy and Alex had called and it was these messages that made it so clear.
Jimmy had left these wonderful messages about some issues i talked to him about before i left , and he was very caring and i suppose thats why i told him my problems knowing that he would respond this way verifying what i already knew (like how some girls ask "do you think I'm pretty?" knowing full well that 99% they will get the response "yes" there by validating their own thoughts). But that was the problem, it was what i had expected out of him from the number of times he would call, when he would call, and what he would say. There was nothing new in what he said, It was just jimmy that i love so dearly, the jimmy that i dated before and that i just know.
Alex left me messages that were of the wall at best but struck the right cord, he sang hillbilly songs, and then he would call and leave me pretend conversation message and normal ones too i suppose but his was new and it wasn't reassuring, it wasn't familiar, it was the same. And that was exactly the thing that needed something new, i like new things i like have sex for the first time with someone and you get to play an adult version of the guessing game and the third or fourth time and it clicks just right with out thought. I like the new guy smell, kind of like new car smell but so much better, I like change, actually the ability to change and adapt to it.
So now Alex and i are in that weird sort of dating stage but neither of us will say what it is. Its been fun and I'm enjoying it a lot. I love his smell, you think it would smell bad seeing as he works outside all day but when rides over to my place after and takes his motorcycle helmet mmmm, guy smell (sorry that might have grossed you out). and as for jimmy i sort of explained it to him but hes not happy per se but he'll be fine.
So after spending time away i came back to my phone mailbox being full of messages and both jimmy and Alex had called and it was these messages that made it so clear.
Jimmy had left these wonderful messages about some issues i talked to him about before i left , and he was very caring and i suppose thats why i told him my problems knowing that he would respond this way verifying what i already knew (like how some girls ask "do you think I'm pretty?" knowing full well that 99% they will get the response "yes" there by validating their own thoughts). But that was the problem, it was what i had expected out of him from the number of times he would call, when he would call, and what he would say. There was nothing new in what he said, It was just jimmy that i love so dearly, the jimmy that i dated before and that i just know.
Alex left me messages that were of the wall at best but struck the right cord, he sang hillbilly songs, and then he would call and leave me pretend conversation message and normal ones too i suppose but his was new and it wasn't reassuring, it wasn't familiar, it was the same. And that was exactly the thing that needed something new, i like new things i like have sex for the first time with someone and you get to play an adult version of the guessing game and the third or fourth time and it clicks just right with out thought. I like the new guy smell, kind of like new car smell but so much better, I like change, actually the ability to change and adapt to it.
So now Alex and i are in that weird sort of dating stage but neither of us will say what it is. Its been fun and I'm enjoying it a lot. I love his smell, you think it would smell bad seeing as he works outside all day but when rides over to my place after and takes his motorcycle helmet mmmm, guy smell (sorry that might have grossed you out). and as for jimmy i sort of explained it to him but hes not happy per se but he'll be fine.
leena1:
how are things now? *hugz*