jordan

I got to cut out of work early today. got some writing done even though I feel like dog poop. Everyone was surprisingly understanding at work and told me I should come home and get some rest. Its been a day of communication weirdness. I got a letter from my Dad apologizing for not being around when I was little, enclosed with it was Johnny Cashs CD I Walk The Line..

Last night I went to CBGB. Jack n cokes are eight bucks a pop and Budweisers are five. WTF. And we werent allowed to go out if we wanted to smoke unless we paid cover charge again. Still though the Funeral Crashers put on a good show so it was worth it. So go tell Treason how much he rocks. Last night I almost had to beat up one of his little groupies. And me and my awesome friend Sioux felt each other up while bewildered people looked on.
(((((((Yes, my hands on her ass, I know youre jealous ahahaha))))))))

I got an email this morning from someone asking me if Id like to be on those Wrestling shows?? WWF, or what not, those like dramatic soap opera events. I suppose maybe Id be one of those chicks that walk around holding up signs or whatever but I dont have breast implants so Im just kinda thrown..

Anyway back to work. I hope everyones well. I also hope fall arrives soon. One more day of sweating and Im gonna hurl on your mom.

Anyway, heres more Demonic. This will probably be the last bit I post from the book because this week Im supposed to get my evaluations from my agent, so enjoy and buy this shit when it comes out. Please.

*****Marhollow******

All of the sudden I didnt want Phil with me at all. His car was back at my place, too, which meant I had to drive him back there. I took a deep breath. It was hotter, too, even though the sun was going down. The air was still; no breeze at all. I rolled my eyes and turned up the radio. At least some DJ had the decent mind to play The Cars. I tried to ignore Phils hand slapping happily against his knee. He started singing along. He was driving me nuts.
Oh, man, I didnt tell you, did I? he started in.
I dunno, tell me what? I tried not to look so irritable, but my face set in its on expression. I couldnt control it sometimes. I nodded along to the music figuring that would help me seem like I was better adapting to the current situation.
I started a new photography project. Its called Lost. Its kind of weird, he led on. He waited for me to say something. Wanna hear about it? I didnt. I had no clue where I was headed either, just out to the coast somewhere and maybe further. I never drove out past Jacksonport, a town with a former lumber shipping port where my old man used to work. Now it was just an old creepy factory; rustic towers that threatened the puffy clouds like sharp objects against already bruised flesh. I could drive along Lake Michigan, I guess, until a better plan came to mind.
Yer, sure, I finally responded to Phils question. He had no one else to talk to about these things.
I constructed a bunch of giant fetuses, he told me, that boys can fit in then they rip the fetuses apart. When they pop out of the fetuses theyre blindfolded and tied up. They manage to break out of their restraints and stare down at their dicks because they dont know what their dicks are for. Its all about boys discovering themselves, you know, their sex stuff.
Uh-huh. Phil knew he couldnt shock me. I think thats why he liked being around me. He knew he could tell me anything and I would react in a casual manner. Just then he might as well have said, I put the tea bag in the cup and then the hot water, because it wouldnt have made a difference to me. Nothing shocked me much anymore. I was ready to die. I was ready to kill. Whatever. I sped up even more. No one was out on this road. The ocean passed us by like a blue piece of paper flapping in the wind. Faster, faster, I only wanted to go faster. I stuck a cigarette between my lips. I knew that drove Phil nuts. He once told me he loved watching me smoke. It made my bad boy image that much more appealing. You get this look in your eyes like you could kill your own mother, and your lips are just so plump, he told me. I wanted to laugh one, because I could kill my own mother. And plump? I told him that word should only ever be used to describe a girls ass.
Jesus, this car goes fast, he said.
Nah, I go fast, I corrected him. She just obeys me, I sniggered. He loved that. He smiled and looked out of his window at the coast that drifted by us. Now I liked being lost, and I was curious as to where that would take us. I closed my eyes for a second and made a promise to Jesse that Id visit him in the hospital tomorrow.


*****Abby*****

I made Jenna orgasm. I enjoyed the power as much as she enjoyed losing control, coming apart at the command of my hand. Here we were now, exhausted and undeniably happy in my bed. There was nothing left to do but sleep and wake up in the morning to remember it all over again. Jenna was staring at the ceiling, mesmerized. Her arm rested across her forehead. She looked as if she was stargazing, spread out in wet grass, lost and lackadaisical. I smiled showing just a little bit of my teeth.
I told you youd like it.
Yeah, she smiled wildly. I guess you did. I just neverthought I could feel like that. My smile grew wider. I couldnt help it. I was the shit.
I mean I felt like I left this world for a minute.
Yeah, why do you think everyone loves sex so much, I pointed out right before I filled the air above our faces with cigarette smoke.
So, waitwas that your first time having an orgasm? I turned and looked at her, having to read her expression because she didnt respond otherwise. She just looked at me dumbfounded and dewy-eyed.
Holy shit! I giggled. I did that; I gave you your first orgasm. Holy shit. Its gonna be an awesome day.
Yeah, right, Abby. Well be spending eight hours of it at Minute, well leave tonight smelling like a slaughterhouse.
So, we just had the best sex, I dont care if we have to go to fucking fight the war in Iraq, I dont care, I just made the person I love feel better than anyone else ever has.
Well, Abby, its not like Ive been with that many people.
That was cold and unexpected. I had to drop out of life for a second and come back. I looked at her and I wanted to punch something. I wished she hadnt been on the pillow so I could ram my fist into it. How could she say that?
I love you. I just loved you, I just made you feel amazing, and you just made me feel like shit. I got up and grabbed my Minute clothes and went into the bathroom. I felt her follow me, looking sad and pathetic, about to apologize. I didnt give her a chance. I didnt have time. Time was about to tag me with reality again. I slammed the door in her face. It was all I could do to not hit her.