dear blog, 2006,
i am well, very well. i am, however, on the verge of checking myself into the hopsital for an evaluation because i took the plunge and joined myspace........
i guess i did it to expose my book and make more sales online. i'm about to get my first royalty check, which is awesome. hey, do you think i should buy a new Bentley or invest in a house in the Hamptons with my amazingly ass slapping big check? ahaha. hey, guess what? i'm drunk.
so here's the thing i found out about myspace. there are more people on myspace than there are in the world. yup. some of those people on there are not real. i think they're made up by the government or aliens or whatever i dunno. but there are a lot of motherfuggun people on there, fisherprice androids. i duuno.
also, today a fan asked me if i was really raped by a dog when i was nine. he's reading my book. he shouted this question to me in a crowded cafe and sometimes when girls can't run and hide they just laugh, and not out of normal happiness, no, not that, i laughed, because i didn't know what else to do. then he said, 'cos i was, and i was hoping we could bond over our experiences.'
bond, over dog rape, at eight in the morning, have you.
i've never.
i wrote a screenplay in 5 days. i love it. it came out of me in thrust glory fire. The Diary of Hot and Cold. that explains it all
i just snorted seabreeze facial foam by accident and my nose is burning. gotta go. watch out for those androids.
time to pass the fuck out.
dog what?
i am well, very well. i am, however, on the verge of checking myself into the hopsital for an evaluation because i took the plunge and joined myspace........
i guess i did it to expose my book and make more sales online. i'm about to get my first royalty check, which is awesome. hey, do you think i should buy a new Bentley or invest in a house in the Hamptons with my amazingly ass slapping big check? ahaha. hey, guess what? i'm drunk.
so here's the thing i found out about myspace. there are more people on myspace than there are in the world. yup. some of those people on there are not real. i think they're made up by the government or aliens or whatever i dunno. but there are a lot of motherfuggun people on there, fisherprice androids. i duuno.
also, today a fan asked me if i was really raped by a dog when i was nine. he's reading my book. he shouted this question to me in a crowded cafe and sometimes when girls can't run and hide they just laugh, and not out of normal happiness, no, not that, i laughed, because i didn't know what else to do. then he said, 'cos i was, and i was hoping we could bond over our experiences.'
bond, over dog rape, at eight in the morning, have you.
i've never.
i wrote a screenplay in 5 days. i love it. it came out of me in thrust glory fire. The Diary of Hot and Cold. that explains it all
i just snorted seabreeze facial foam by accident and my nose is burning. gotta go. watch out for those androids.
time to pass the fuck out.
dog what?
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