jordan

THIS ISN'T AN UPDATE REALLY but i used all caps to make you look, fuckers. ahahaha. but i love it when i go to buy Maxim Magazine and the clerk's eyes light up like the sky on the 4th of july cos he's thinking "oh my god, this chick's a lesbian, that's so hot." ahahaha.


UPDATE: I'm the happiest person in the world right now. I know it.
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Yes!!! This is me at age, um, like ten. Don't I look insanely like Veruca Salt??

So I need to ask you guys a question. Which book title do you like better A Year Without Halloween or Secondhand Smoke?
Both I love, but Id like your opinion.

My mom said she bought me a diamond ring to congratulate me on getting published which has left me stunned. Shes always come across as being against me for devoting my life to writing, asking me why I write such dark stuff for. Why. Why does glass cut? Because its sharp. Because someone broke it. Why doesnt really matter to me. It just is, and it just will be. Period.
Im nervous about her reading my book. Its written through the eyes of a jaded 19 year old girl, lost and confused. Just like I was then. Im not now. I grew up in the dark and learned the shape of things with my hands. This is the blood I lost. I hope she understands and she isnt too hurt or blames herself for the things I did. I did them only because I wanted to.

fuggun why WHY is there a psychedelic furs song in a cell phone commerical????

this is beautiful:


Anywaaaaaaaaaaay, I want to be buried in shades. Preferably the sunglasses I bought today. Theyre amazing.
And Ill end things on that shallow note. I hope all you lovely people are doing well. And to those beautiful SGs that have the flu, feel better!!

Heres an excerpt from Everyone Is Chuckers, and a link at the bottom if you want to order a copy.
Love you guys and dolls.

Everyone Is Chuckers
Teal, Jules said with passionate sarcasm. Then he rolled his eyes. Well I went to see this one guy, Gary, and he was there with five other guys and said they were all going to pay me and then they tied me up and my dick was passed around from mouth to mouth for hours and now its sore, I dont even want to walk, I dont even want to be awake, it went on for hours, even after I came, I said its not a piece of gum, fuckers, let me go, and they didnt, they just looked up at me and laughed and my arms hurt so bad from being tied to this thing above my head I felt like I was being ripped apart, so Ive just been trying to take shit that makes me pass out and forget about the pain and everything, cos everything is related to pain, cos it hurts, it really hurts, but I have no money anymore for shit that will make me pass out and the only way I can get money is if I go see someone else but theres no way Im letting anyone near my dick right now so its hell, utter hell, and I owe Mike money but Ive spent what I did have just to numb it all, and if you could maybe see someone Mike knows and loan me money I could pay you back once Im better. Jules finished with his exhausting speech and looked at Jack like he was the only one that could save him.
And Jack just said, I know Gary, then sipped his beer.
Later Jack silently followed Jules out of The Heartland and I went with them.

We took a bus. I had no idea what our final destination was going to be. There were a bunch of buildings with gutted roofs, tarps protecting vacant spaces where windows had been busted out. Every time I asked Jack where we were going he just said, Its going to be cool. He had this attentive sparkle in his eyes. He told Jules he knew of a way for Jules to get some money. Jack and Jules were chewing gum, looking out the window, giggling like two prepubescent boys on a field trip. Something had recharged Juless battery since we left the bar. Now his true character was coming into shape. I kept hearing Jules tell Jack, Give her some. Jack would shake his head and continue to stare out the window.
Burling, man, Burling, Jules tapped on the window, swatted Jack on the arm and quickly got up. I followed them to the front of the aisle. Jules put his hands down on the chairs he was in between, lifted himself up in the air and swung high, landing at the front of the bus. The driver angrily muttered something.
This is our stop, yo, let us out, Jules aggressively protested, slapping on the door.
You stop! You stop that, the driver warned, getting distracted. He couldnt speak English very well. I thought the bus was going to crash. The driver pulled the bus over, shouting for us all to get out, waving his arms in the air. Jules jumped out, skipping all the steps, and laughed after the bus pulled off, his right hand shooting up into the air to give the bus the finger. I felt like we were nowhere, falling into a bottomless black hole. There was a gas station across the street with snowflakes and Christmas angels taped to the window next to a hot neon sign that read Self Serve. Jack threw his arm around me and we walked down a rain drenched street. Jules kept screaming and laughing.
Is he okay? I asked Jack.
Yeah, its his birthday. He thinkshe spent most of his life in orphanages and a couple of foster homes and different people told him his birthday was different days and today is one of those daysbut I think it really is his birthday, he seems like a Sag.
Up ahead, lights from a construction site flashed against the dark street. I could see a wooden sign that flashed the message Slow Ahead. Beyond that the body of a tall warped building came into play.
Do you have any smokes? I asked Jack, desperate for one.
No, babe, sorry. He sped up, walking faster and faster to keep up with Jules. I tried to slow him down. Babe, its kinda important we get there fast, he told me. His tone was suddenly short.
Okay but I really need a smoke.
Jules has smokes, he said, forcing me to walk with him.
Why do we need to get there so fast? Where are we going?
Jack never answered. We walked across a muddy field. Sometimes my leg sank up to the knee in mud. I wanted to cry but my anger played as a levy. The beautiful sound of shattered glass occurred behind us, where we just were. I got the feeling we werent supposed to be here.

Slow ahead
Slow ahead

Gusty wind slammed an open door against the side of the building Jules drew near. From inside the building a light flashed on and off. I guessed this was our squat for the night. I stopped in the middle of the field, pulling on Jacks hand, wanting him to stop with me. I gazed at the flashing light.
Come on, baby, please, Jack begged.
Leave her! Jules shouted. He disappeared into the building and the flashing light stopped.
I dont want to go in there.
Its just for a minute, just to see someone. Well get money, Jack said.
Jules came back out, hands in his pockets, shaking his head.
Forget it, man, were too late, he told Jack. Tokyo said maybe we could find Quote at the pizza place but we have to walk five blocks like in the time it takes to walk one. Jules stood against half of a wall next to a sign that read BEWARE OF CONCRETE PUMPS WITHOUT BOOM.
I was really afraid of Jules but not too afraid to ask for a smoke. Hey, Jules, do you have a cigarette?
He turned his sick exhausted eyes down on me like I was crazy. He slipped a cigarette between his pillow lips then muttered, Do I have a cigarette, I dont know, do I? he laughed and looked at Jack to laugh too but he didnt. Old Jackie is your boyfriend; hes supposed to get you shit like that. Jules looked down at his Zippo, flicking it to make fire. He lit his cigarette and blew out smoke between the slit of his lips. I mean Im not your boyfriend, he said in a calm scratchy voice. If I was Id make you blow me for one.
Jules, Jack warned.
Yes, Jack? Jules chirped with sarcastic obedience.
Just give her a goddamn smoke and lets go to the pizza place.
We wont make it in time, Jules said, certain. And besides we came all the way out here to meet them cos they said so and theyre not here. This is a fucking joke, everythings a fucking joke. Jules started rubbing his crotch and looked at me. So how bad do you want this cigarette, doll face? then he tossed his smoke down in the mud. Jack moved in on him but Jules put his hand up, pushing Jack out of the way.
Come on, Jackie Boy, have a little fun in between Mr. Shit Lifes shit agenda. Besides, you suggested we fucking come all the way out here. Im pissed, Jules looked down at me, And hard and I could fucking go for a tight sweet doll mouth around me right now. Tell ya what, let her blow me and Ill share Quotes money with you. Jack looked at me, actually impressed with the idea.
That would be five hundred dollars, Jack thought aloud. I thought about it maybe a night in a motel, maybe dinner somewhere nice, not in fucking Boys Town because I was sick of Boys Town, not to mention money for train fare, cigarettes and alcohol.
What about Kelly? I asked Jack, looking up at him. Jules was already unfastening his jeans.
Kellys just a friend, was Jacks response.
Jules reached for my hand, pulling it to his hard cock. I closed my eyes as he put another hand on top of my head, urging me down on my knees. The mud was cold and somehow soothing. Jules held his cock to my mouth.
Be a good girl and open wide, lets check for cavities, Jules joked, laughing again. I hated the way he laughed. I closed my eyes. I closed my lips around his cock. It was big, uncut, and I was about to pull away because I thought I was going to gag but he kept his hand in my hair, pulling on it, making sure I didnt go anywhere, making sure I kept sucking. Shes not bad, Jackie Boy, Jules said, moaning and tightening his grip. I didnt know what Jack did while I was getting his friend off but he didnt touch me and he didnt say anything and they both smoked and when it was all over Jules took his hand out of my hair and a few of my blonde strands were stuck between his fingers as he took it and high-fived Jack who reluctantly high-fived him back and the blonde hairs flew down from his hand like a broken spider web.




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