jordan

Mmmmmm, Im smoking a honey cigarette, Im in pink thongs, watching the rain fall, sipping my cappuccino, listening to tegan and sara, cozier than a fluffy pussy in the lap of a fuzzy pussyits a beautiful day.
For Halloween Im going as Matilda from The Professional. I will either carry a huge plant or a glass bottle of milk. TBD. Who wants to be my Mr. Leon??
Purrrrrrrrr, I feel like such a pussy cat today.
Heres more post jerk off reading material as you folk smoke and catch your breath

Heres more Demonic.
***DEVON***

Proper etiquette is not playing with your food. I wanted to tell Betsy that. How could she order The Wild Dorade and just sit and pick at it with her fork.
Sweetie, I said, with just a touch of coldness, Are you not used to this type of food?
What? she looked up at me, sounding and looking like an amnesia patient waking up for the first time to discover their memory completely vanished. I felt like mocking her she sounded like such an idiot.
But its just a salad, she said sadly. They made it sound like something more on the menu.
Thats because it isnt just a salad. I felt like slapping her so hard. You can order something else, its fine.
But I dont want to send anything back.
You dont have to send it back. Ill pay for it, its fine. I picked up her menu as if it were different than mine. I looked at the meats, figuring that bit she could understand, no problem. How about the Rabbit of the Muscovy?
The what? she looked up at me again, sad eyes that couldnt comprehend anything outside her single-parenting bubble.
I think you should try the rabbit. I love rabbit. I held up a hand to grab Sarahs attention.
Is something wrong? Sarah asked, looking down at the untouched plate in front of Becky.
Oh, no, we would just also prefer the rabbit, I said. The more we ate, the more shed drink. I ordered Sherry next.
My goodness, youre a drinker, she said. I just grinned. She was too young to be saying things like my goodness, didnt she know that? Sarah trotted off. She seemed bubbly, at least from the way she walked. I kept imagining her straddling me, bobbing up and down on my cock. I bet thats how she liked to fuck. Im not sure how Becky liked to fuck, Im pretty sure she did it a lot, though. Just then she tilted her head and took on a rather complex expression.
What are you thinking about right now? she asked.
Oh, just about earlier, how I was acting. I shifted in my seat some, sliding down a bit and folding my arms across my chest. This way, even though what I was saying may be sweet, my body language didnt put off any vulnerable vibes. I was a jerk, you were right.
Oh, please, Im sensitive, especially right now. Its okay, really. I nodded, she was repeating herself now, and I wanted her to shut up already. I was just trying to ease my way back into getting laid. I hope its okay ifI just go home after this. Next time we can go for a swim.
Oh, sure, thats fine. I just want you to relax. I patted her hand. I felt like cutting it off, but I had a better idea; much better. I picked up the menu. We should get desert, too. You really havent lived until youve had Caf Wrought chocolate moose pie.
Yeah, I was thinking about trying a glass of the Steel Magnolia 12 , too. I made a face, but quickly recovered. 12 was actually the price of the drink. How stupid she was. Sarah came back with our rabbit after a long trying silence hung over our table. I entertained myself wondering how Nicole was coming along, kept up in her bedroom. I kept wondering what was going to come of her pregnancy. I couldnt wait to see the fight go down between her and my dad. But most of all, of course, I looked forward to tomorrow, to finally getting my hands on Marhollow. He was such a punk. He always had that look on his face, stubborn, like hed always get his way. We altered that a little when we made him watch us torture Jesse. Maybe, hopefully, he didnt know about Jesses death yet, and I could tell him that tomorrow when we torture him. I looked down at the grilled rabbit and smiled.
Can I please have a Steel Magnolia 12? Becky asked Sarah. I tried not to laugh, when a laugh did pop up, I tried to cover it up as a cough.
Sure, hon, was all Sarah said before she quickly left again. Becky gave me an unkind eye.
Did you just laugh at me?
No, I said. I just got choked up. Okay, I said, starting over, seeing how she wasnt going to believe me. I wanted her to believe me, more than that; I wanted her to like me before my big blow. This was beginning to feel like a full time job. It was a fucking date, why was I trying so hard? It had become a game, I guess, it had become addictive to hurt her, make her feel better, hurt her again. It was so easy to do. Honestly, I was thinking of something funny that happened to me the other day, your drink just reminded me of that.
What?
I said your drink reminded me of it. I understood what she meant by what, I was just buying time so I could figure out what the funny thing was that happened to me was going to be.
No, I mean what happened?
Oh, my sister was watching that movie, Steel Magnolias, I thought it was funny, thats it.
You thought it was funny? Her face lit up. She looked like an entirely different person now.
Well, yeah.
So, there is a soft side to you.
Yup. Try your rabbit, I suggested. She smiled and the entire mood of the restaurant seemed to change.
Mmm, this isnt bad, actually. This isnt badshe had no idea. She didnt know anything about fine dining.
Ill be right back. Im going to visit the restroom.
Oh, okay. She picked up her wine and gulped. I left never intending to return. As I headed toward the bar I thought about how funny it would be to chop off her head and Marhollows and switch them like I used to do with my sisters Barbie dolls. I wanted to do that, I bet we could. I could already see Clydes face when I mentioned it. Hed be silent and still at first, his eyes widening and his lips parting. Hed be on the brink of saying, Man, have you lost your mind, dude? Then his winner grin would pop up, hed slap me on the arm and tell me how much I ruled. He could even get the surgical tools we needed from his old man, I bet. My mind went back to Becky. This whole thing had gone on long enough. What would she do when she was stuck with the bill? Shed have to clone ten of her and have all ten of her work her job for ten years and not be able to cover the bill.