jonee

Sometimes I seriously wonder where Josh and I are going. And I'm not talking about a particular destination.

Don't get me wrong, I love the kid madly, madly. It's just that lately I can't help but feel like I'm getting the fucking shaft in every thing we do. I understand that being in a serious relationship requires having to make sacrifices, but I seriously think it's completely unfair that I'm practically having to give up everything I want to do all the time. I mean, in the recent death of my grandmother, I did not want to go out and do anything, at all, unless it involved spending time with my family. I told Josh that, and he seemed to understand. I didn't even get to spend two hours with my family on Sunday before he started tugging at my jacket sleeve asking if we can leave. It's always a constant argument, silent or spoken, about everything we do together. I want to be able to spend time with my family, or just stay in for a weekend for once and not freeze my metaphorical ball sack off sitting in my car at the drive-in.

I love Josh to absolute pieces, and I wish for nothing more than a bright future for us, but I can't keep sacrificing my life for his wants. Wants, not his needs. I feel jewed.