ended up in jail...
i saw it coming, or something like it, but i didn't expect that it'd happen on the first day of my "10 days of recklessness tour 2004." which has been anti-climactic given the whole incarceration thing which sucked real bad. i'm clinically claustrophobic and on meds for that and anxiety so you can imagine that jail is a little tough. i tried to flip and get special treatment for my disorder(s) but quickly learned that they don't give a fuck and i had two choices: get beat up, hogtied and strapped to a bed in a reaaallly small cell or suck it up and deal with my trauma. i chose the latter.
many good things have come of this and i can elaborate on them as the weeks go on... two things stand out: i have learned to manage my panic disorder without meds (given the alternative) and it cooled my jets a bit re: the recklessness. i'm actually making different choices based on the experience. i don't like the restrictive nature of this but i think it's for the best...
i'm gonna go play records at Ink tonight. maybe something wonderful will happen and i'll have a great time. i dunno... otherwise it'll be another lesson in anticlimactic results from pursuing one's illusions.
epilogue: nothing wonderful happened. not only that but something was out of alignment tonight. each person i mentioned it to felt the same thing. i hope things are back to normal tomorrow.
i saw it coming, or something like it, but i didn't expect that it'd happen on the first day of my "10 days of recklessness tour 2004." which has been anti-climactic given the whole incarceration thing which sucked real bad. i'm clinically claustrophobic and on meds for that and anxiety so you can imagine that jail is a little tough. i tried to flip and get special treatment for my disorder(s) but quickly learned that they don't give a fuck and i had two choices: get beat up, hogtied and strapped to a bed in a reaaallly small cell or suck it up and deal with my trauma. i chose the latter.
many good things have come of this and i can elaborate on them as the weeks go on... two things stand out: i have learned to manage my panic disorder without meds (given the alternative) and it cooled my jets a bit re: the recklessness. i'm actually making different choices based on the experience. i don't like the restrictive nature of this but i think it's for the best...
i'm gonna go play records at Ink tonight. maybe something wonderful will happen and i'll have a great time. i dunno... otherwise it'll be another lesson in anticlimactic results from pursuing one's illusions.
epilogue: nothing wonderful happened. not only that but something was out of alignment tonight. each person i mentioned it to felt the same thing. i hope things are back to normal tomorrow.
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I need to make it out to ink one of these nights..