jon_pon_schmitty

This is not out by any means just a teaser of what is to come!
This will be out in summer or fall!

Reality is pretty incredible....I am awaiting glassheart yeayyy she is staying with me for a bit! hurray

but

that is not what this is about.

Ego pumping on the internet is so ridiculous.
"friends" that you will never meet are even worse.
Sitting online for hours and hours makes me feel insanely dumb..
Even if when i do im just listening to bands to play shows with it makes me feel retarded and forgetfull that there is a real world.
I want to be running down the streets...playing in the water....feeling the cold air freeze my face....feel the sweat dripping down in a coldcold night...as the second you return home you are suddenly hot...all these feelings are incredible...
I want to be soaked head to toe in the rain with you.
just to come home and shower with you.
I want to talk to talk...drink tea...read...ride bikes...have tons of fun.

I am tired of screens that light up and show me some false reality...At times it is incredible. And i still love those times with YOU. and you alone.
Cuddling and watching a movie makes me so happy.

I realized why i like dumb movies...because they are so incredibly fake they dont make me feel like im watching someones life and not living my own...its just me taking some time to just be. and i dont have to think...just cheap entertainment.

WOO i love figuring things out about myself.

Well, These days i have been thinking...this society is full of poets,writers, painters, and so much more, that show true emotions....While I plan a career and i guess i show emotion in music but the fact of thinking of a career scares me and has always because i dont want to be doing one thing for the rest of my life...in the same buildings all the time...grantite music is in the same old cheap beat up buildings.....small rooms....fun times packed with people..the same shit all the time..but it makes me happy.

What else could make me feel like this except glassheart.....probably nothing.

I can not think of a single other thing....I need to start getting hobbies...arts and crafts....making some clothes for myself....making art for others....having as much fun as possible while im young.

This soul is young...restless and crying out for more outlets.

Any Ideas?


Well im going to read and relax my ankle until i can get to the clinic on haight today.
Fun fun times.
I am off.

goodbye.


I love Glassheart With All my heart for the rest of eternity




***A Little Bit More That Was Written Before But I love To Make Re-Surface***

Depression Will Folow Us To Our Death Beds


These days this disease is used as a crutch..by whom you ask...

depression is used for selling everything...it is used as a way to say hey you are depressed for being normal...whats wrong with you cheer up..someone being sad and someone being depressed are two different things...yes depression is a disease..but EVERYTIME you are sad or let down should not be used to say im derpressed..or to then diagnose someone or tell them they have depression. that is just ludacris.

Also, people use this as a way to recieve pity, power, and self-worth.

now wanting self-worth should not even be something needing to be achieved..everyone should be able to feel equal unfortunately this is not so in our culture...everyone has to make each other feel bad..even in our own sub-culture where we are supposed to be more tolerant we can not even do so...why is this? because we want to feel better and if we put down taht other person then hell...what is the problem with that? as long as i feel good and dont think about how i made that person feel..then where did i go wrong...

well naturally, you know where i go to this....that person goes home and feels sad...they want to feel better about their lives...they then start to feel depressed and look all because someone wasnt feeling good enough about themselves that day and had to take it out on this other kid for not being as cool as they are..or as normal...or to followa trend as well.

now i know i am not the most intellectual person in the world..i know this may be full of typos may be full of horrible use of the english language...again i dont care about that...this is saying try to realize you play a huge part in the depression epidemic in this society and it will follow you to your death bed....think about it....even if you do not put down others and so forth...our culture has been manufactured in such a way that people cant help but feel bad for themselves..and then take it out on others...thus depression following you when your friend is in a bad mood and they are being bitchy...it will follow.

now for me...i have done all of the above in the past i have thought long and hard on this...and if you see me being quiet it does not mean im depressed...life is hard we all know this, and if i need to talk to someone by all means i will, please dont push and push to make me talk to you if i say no not everything is ok dont worry that is also part of life...it is not always perfect we all get in sad not so happy moods...and let this be known that I as everyone feels am not always happy and energetic and upbeat jon...i can unfortunately get in sad moods...i have been in not the best the past few weeks and apologize...this is getting to long so i will end it now