jokersharp

I don\'t feel like me anymore. I\'m here but I\'m not. Nightmares where only things children have or so I thought. I never thought that the people I watch die would lead me to wish that I was the one in the dream not the other way around. We fight but most important is we keep moving forward but the past keeps us from ever fully felling human again. Am I just wishing I was with my friends again. My friends stain my hands from time to time without anyone even batting an eye. I see what others should not but my mind stays clear, concise and able to produce sound judgment. I yell forward when logic tells me to fall back. I hold my ground even if it means fighting the reaper. I have met the reaper and have held meetings to sway the future. My future continues to look bright no matter what the reaper throws my way. Why am I the one who walks from the fire with only the remnants of what was my vast shield. My shield has more then one name but will be forgotten by most when broken tomorrow. We who fought here we who lost our selves here and those who lost it all here can never really be the same again. Can I truly once more be human not the monster I feel like in my dreams. Until I can hold my loving embrace and melt the sins of the past away. What will I pay for the hand that held firm in front of me to keep me safe. Can I crawl back from the dark and hold sway the demon that has been released. Will the reaper laugh when its time for our final meet. Will thoughts of the past keep me or break me. Who am I what am I and can I be.