What a fucking trip. New Orleans was a blast. Here's the play-by-play:
Friday, June 3rd
5:00 AM- Left Austin with my Mom, Dad, Brother, his wife and 2 of my parent's friends. Took 2 separate cars; I drove mine, with my bro and his wife as passengers.
8:00 AM- Started drinking with everyone on the road.
9:00 AM- Stopped offin a little shit town for a greazy breakfast. Soaked up the alcohol. Hit the road and drank some more.
3:00 PM- Arrived in New Orleans. Checked in at the Intercontinental Hotel. Parents broke out the blender and made an ass-load of frozen drinks in their room.
5:00 PM- Freshly showered and liquored up, we walked our drunk selves to Acme Oyster House and ate like pigs. From now on, any time I say I ate... assume it was like a fucking pig.
7:00 PM- Bourbon Street. Not too many people, but music was already in full swing and bars all called my name out in unison. Frozen drinks from about 3 different bars.
9:00 PM- Went to that shitty grenade place. Those things taste like shit. By my 4th one, they weren't half bad.
10:00 PM- Realized I had worn the wrong shoes. Still in the now packed grenade place, some prankster motherfucker (my MOM) thought it would be funny to tip the band a $20 to have me come up and sing with them. I did. Got a huge applause with lots of screaming and got kissed on the mouth by a drunk chick that tasted like white russians. One of my parents friends (a hulk of a man named 'Roy') started hitting on this bull of a lesbian, not knowing what one ever looked like, being from a small town and all. And she was there with a girlfriend. And they both looked like they'd been hitting each other in the face all night. With bricks. Ugly bricks.
11:00 PM- Somehow time warp/teleport to this awesome soul bar with a killer band. Drunk as hellllll, but still have a drink in my hand for no good reason. Resting the feet and rocking out to some of the best music I've heard in a long time. Elsewhere in the bar, my 'rents buddies were making out with the aforementioned lesbian and her equally butch girlfriend. I guess all kinds of crazy shit can happen. I hand my dad a $20 because the guy with lines like "So what number are YOU on the menu" just scored before I did. I guess that happens when your standards include every form of wildlife.
12:00 PM- My brother and his wife went back to the hotel to get some rest (bro was having sinus problems). My parents caught a cab to the casino (gambling problems, I guess). The two gals had already abandoned Roy and Dave so they were freed up. As soon as we were alone for 2 seconds, we made a beeline to Larry Flynt's Hustler Club.
Keep in mind that by this time, we'd all been drinking for at least 15 or 16 hours.
The rest of the night goes by in a blur. I have probably another 15 drinks in the titty bar. The bits I remember go like this:
- I went in with about $350. Came out with $5. Roy probably spent $800. Dave, who knows?
- Lapdances are waaaaay more fun in NOLA.
- I ended up talking to this one dancer for most of the night. Great conversation with a super intelligent and funny gal. She's saving up to go into med school in the fall, and we like a lot of the same music. She says we should go out to dinner the next day and we trade numbers. More on that later.
- Roy turned into a complete buffoon at some point in the night, and I jedi-mind tricked him out of the bar and into a cab.
Dave and I stayed for a couple of more hours (or at least it felt that way). Neither of us had a watch. When we finally walked out of the bar... get this...
IT HAD BEEN DAYLIGHT FOR 2 HOURS ALREADY.
Took a cab back to the hotel and went directly to bed. It was 7 AM.
Saturday, June 4th
2:00 PM- Woke up looking like total shit, but feeling like a million bucks. No hangover at all (scary), and completely ready to start the day. My family were at brunch and the other 2 party gods and I went to meet them at Pat O'Brians for... even more drinks. I passed on the sauce and instead had like 4 glasses of ice water.
3:00 PM- 6:00 PM- Lunch at Margaritaville (of all places). French Quarter. The market. Shopping. Beignets at Cafe Du Monde. Drinks all over the place. Then back to the hotel for a nap, shower and change of clothes.
8:30 PM- Went over for dinner at Deanie's. There was a 30 minute wait, but a nice bar kept us company. I got a phonecall. Remember that dancer I mentioned earlier? Yep. I excused myself from dinner with the family to join this girl for a dinner date. She picked me up, took me to this killer little sushi joint and didn't let me pay for a thing. Then she drove me around town for almost 2 hours and showed me all the cool local stuff. Graveyards, huge mansions, the artsy side of town. Up and down Magazine Street and St Charles. Trent Reznor's old house and studio... it kicked waaay too much ass. I walked her to work at around 11 PM. Big hugs, a peck on the lips, and off she went. If this girl lived in Austin, I can guarantee you that we'd be the best of friends.
12:00 PM- I met up with my family for some gambling at Harriss' Casino and I don't think any of them believed me when I told them it was just an innocent little date I had just had. They figure dancer=wild crazy sex and drugs, and nothing I can say would probably change their minds. Go figure.
3:00 AM- Bedtime.
The rest of the trip was a lot more of everything. I hope that it doesn't take me another 15 years to find the time to get away from everything with my family again. I love those guys immensely and will look back on this trip as one of the best ever.
Current Mood: satisfied
Friday, June 3rd
5:00 AM- Left Austin with my Mom, Dad, Brother, his wife and 2 of my parent's friends. Took 2 separate cars; I drove mine, with my bro and his wife as passengers.
8:00 AM- Started drinking with everyone on the road.
9:00 AM- Stopped offin a little shit town for a greazy breakfast. Soaked up the alcohol. Hit the road and drank some more.
3:00 PM- Arrived in New Orleans. Checked in at the Intercontinental Hotel. Parents broke out the blender and made an ass-load of frozen drinks in their room.
5:00 PM- Freshly showered and liquored up, we walked our drunk selves to Acme Oyster House and ate like pigs. From now on, any time I say I ate... assume it was like a fucking pig.
7:00 PM- Bourbon Street. Not too many people, but music was already in full swing and bars all called my name out in unison. Frozen drinks from about 3 different bars.
9:00 PM- Went to that shitty grenade place. Those things taste like shit. By my 4th one, they weren't half bad.
10:00 PM- Realized I had worn the wrong shoes. Still in the now packed grenade place, some prankster motherfucker (my MOM) thought it would be funny to tip the band a $20 to have me come up and sing with them. I did. Got a huge applause with lots of screaming and got kissed on the mouth by a drunk chick that tasted like white russians. One of my parents friends (a hulk of a man named 'Roy') started hitting on this bull of a lesbian, not knowing what one ever looked like, being from a small town and all. And she was there with a girlfriend. And they both looked like they'd been hitting each other in the face all night. With bricks. Ugly bricks.
11:00 PM- Somehow time warp/teleport to this awesome soul bar with a killer band. Drunk as hellllll, but still have a drink in my hand for no good reason. Resting the feet and rocking out to some of the best music I've heard in a long time. Elsewhere in the bar, my 'rents buddies were making out with the aforementioned lesbian and her equally butch girlfriend. I guess all kinds of crazy shit can happen. I hand my dad a $20 because the guy with lines like "So what number are YOU on the menu" just scored before I did. I guess that happens when your standards include every form of wildlife.
12:00 PM- My brother and his wife went back to the hotel to get some rest (bro was having sinus problems). My parents caught a cab to the casino (gambling problems, I guess). The two gals had already abandoned Roy and Dave so they were freed up. As soon as we were alone for 2 seconds, we made a beeline to Larry Flynt's Hustler Club.
Keep in mind that by this time, we'd all been drinking for at least 15 or 16 hours.
The rest of the night goes by in a blur. I have probably another 15 drinks in the titty bar. The bits I remember go like this:
- I went in with about $350. Came out with $5. Roy probably spent $800. Dave, who knows?
- Lapdances are waaaaay more fun in NOLA.
- I ended up talking to this one dancer for most of the night. Great conversation with a super intelligent and funny gal. She's saving up to go into med school in the fall, and we like a lot of the same music. She says we should go out to dinner the next day and we trade numbers. More on that later.
- Roy turned into a complete buffoon at some point in the night, and I jedi-mind tricked him out of the bar and into a cab.
Dave and I stayed for a couple of more hours (or at least it felt that way). Neither of us had a watch. When we finally walked out of the bar... get this...
IT HAD BEEN DAYLIGHT FOR 2 HOURS ALREADY.
Took a cab back to the hotel and went directly to bed. It was 7 AM.
Saturday, June 4th
2:00 PM- Woke up looking like total shit, but feeling like a million bucks. No hangover at all (scary), and completely ready to start the day. My family were at brunch and the other 2 party gods and I went to meet them at Pat O'Brians for... even more drinks. I passed on the sauce and instead had like 4 glasses of ice water.
3:00 PM- 6:00 PM- Lunch at Margaritaville (of all places). French Quarter. The market. Shopping. Beignets at Cafe Du Monde. Drinks all over the place. Then back to the hotel for a nap, shower and change of clothes.
8:30 PM- Went over for dinner at Deanie's. There was a 30 minute wait, but a nice bar kept us company. I got a phonecall. Remember that dancer I mentioned earlier? Yep. I excused myself from dinner with the family to join this girl for a dinner date. She picked me up, took me to this killer little sushi joint and didn't let me pay for a thing. Then she drove me around town for almost 2 hours and showed me all the cool local stuff. Graveyards, huge mansions, the artsy side of town. Up and down Magazine Street and St Charles. Trent Reznor's old house and studio... it kicked waaay too much ass. I walked her to work at around 11 PM. Big hugs, a peck on the lips, and off she went. If this girl lived in Austin, I can guarantee you that we'd be the best of friends.
12:00 PM- I met up with my family for some gambling at Harriss' Casino and I don't think any of them believed me when I told them it was just an innocent little date I had just had. They figure dancer=wild crazy sex and drugs, and nothing I can say would probably change their minds. Go figure.
3:00 AM- Bedtime.
The rest of the trip was a lot more of everything. I hope that it doesn't take me another 15 years to find the time to get away from everything with my family again. I love those guys immensely and will look back on this trip as one of the best ever.
Current Mood: satisfied
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
zephyra:
That sounds like one of the most awesome trips ever. So freaking cool.
bentman:
Holy shit, that's great man! I'm many shades of jealous!