johnnyzombie

I hope everyone has had a nice New Years. Mine was ok. I drank peach wine, listened to jazz music, and watched The Bride of Frankenstein.

I'm going through one of those odd periods, where I find myself asking the question, "What now?"

I've been writing a novel that was somewhat easier to write than I thought it would be. After years of writing and defeating all my own efforts, I find that I'm actually excited about this project. I also find that even though I'm not in an ideal situation elsewhere in life, I'm not in a bad mood. I don't know if that is because of some hidden optimism, or if I've just decided not to be bothered. I'm away from my friends, I'm back on the east coast, money is an issue--but I'm not upset.

Part of me has taken the time to revisit things I liked as a child. I find that has helped me creatively. This was something I couldn't do on the west coast, as the main bulk of my stuff was back east. In some ways, I feel like I've lost a lot from my time out west. But I also feel that I've rediscovered a lot. It's complicated to explain. You'd have to know me for a long time to really understand.

The past three years were some of the most interesting, and sometimes traumatic, of my life. I still find myself decompressing a bit. In particular 2010 was one of the worst years of my life. 2009 ended with another relationship from hell--and then segued into a rough financial year. I never thought I'd head back east with a broken heart, and a broken bank account, but it happend. I'm still alive, and I'm getting back on my feet.

I'm looking forward to what 2011 will bring. Though I can't predict what is about to happen, I know it has to be better than what came before.