Some of u know that my job deals with investments and financial planning. I thought it fitting to share with my SG buddies some investment strategies that we have found successful of late So here are some new economic strategies to enhance your investment opportunities (as per 2006)
DUBAI SYSTEM
You have two cows. You create a website for them and advertise in
all magazines and Cable TV. You create a Cow City or Milk Town. You
sell off their milk before the cows are milked,
to both legit and shady investors, who hope to resell the non-existent milk
for a 100% profit in two month time.
You bring Bill Clinton and Tiger Woods to milk the cows to attract attention.
QATAR SYSTEM:
You have two cows. They've been sitting there for decades and no
one realizes that cows can produce milk. You see what Dubai is doing;
you go crazy and start milking the heck out of the cows, in the
shortest time possible. Then you realize no one wanted the milk in the
first place.
SAUDI SYSTEM:
Since milking the cow involves nipples, the gov't decides to ban
all cows in public. The only method to milk a cow is to have the cow at
one side of the curtain and the guy milking the cow on the other side;
or to hire females and train them to milk the cows ... the debate is
still going on.
BAHRAIN SYSTEM:
You have two cows. Some high gov't official steals one, milks it,
sells the milk and pockets the profit. The gov't tells you there is
just one cow and not enough milk for the people. The people riot and
scream death to the govt and carry Iranian flags. The Parliament, after
thinking for 11 months, decide to employ ten Bahrainis to milk the
remaining cow at the same time to cut back on unemployment.
LEBANON SYSTEM:
You have two cows. One is owned by Syria, the other by the Lebanese
gov't, both are milked by Syrian Laborers during their free time as informers.
EGYPT SYSTEM:
You have two cows. Both vote for Mubarak!
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the
milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow
dropped dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows and have no idea what to do with them. It doesn't
really matter, you go on strike anyway because you feel you need three
cows.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You count them and find out you have five cows.
You count again and find out you have eight cows. You count again and
out you have 20 cows. You are so happy, you stop counting and open
another bottle of Vodka.
A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. Both are mad.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
otoki:
I've used sudafed a few times, but mostly Nyquil and lots of sleep.
kottonkandy:
aw thanks, its nice to know that people care. i'm hoping that things will be ok with school. i've been working my ass off trying to get things straight. thanks for the words of encouragement...they really do help. i just cant wait for this shit to be over so i can focus on being happy...its hard when theres so much going on at once.