johnny_panic

and to my small audience, I will say this. There is always a way out.
I am the Houdini of my time. That is to say as long as it doesn't
concern the physicality of steal. How trivial.... I must be drunk...

In any case....

I am here to leave again. I'll post bail and find my way through a gamut of
logic to something other than this place. She; she has trapped me, or
help me trap myself. Now, I will say that I never considered myself a
southerner. I am a transplant. I am institutionalized. But not a southerner.

I think this might mean that it is time to pick up and leave. We had a long
conversation today. I felt that I'd never known her before this second. Things
like this can become horrific for me. We've been together a year or so and this,
this marks the break up. A small army of words to defend my well being from the
onslaught.

The Temperament. I wish there was a way to convey what it is like to be
screamed at constantly for two hours over nothing. Nothing is a hard thing
to put into words.

(Maybe I'll have a chance to make a recording of Nothing?)

Anyways, I never had a chance to converge, or identify on a single plane of existence.
This, like many things are my fault. Tonight I have spent inside, huddled
against what I consider to be cold. (I'm thinking Cali looks good now)
drinking... My drink. It makes me pensive. My apologies.

I will shy away from the outside till they come into greet me...

In the next few weeks I will loose what means the most to me. She will
approach this as a chance to release me. I will give that to her. In some
sick way I think I enjoy being left. I can fault myself and cherish my sadness.
It helps make art. It's the only thing I do well, at least I have that.

Between a failed attempt at Grad school, and another failed relationship.
looks like I'm off, back to Atlanta.

And to any of you who actually made it this far. My apologies that you
had to read this.