joenobody

alright, time for an update. i think i'll do a series of entries about where i work now.

boobie.

His name is Bob, but we call him Boob, or Booby. Booby is an older white guy from groton. A tall, thin, brain dead, nervous wreck with a beard. I used to get frustrated working with him. You have to tell him how to do things over and over again, and I don't think he knows how to read a tape measure. you usually end up babysitting the poor guy if your partnered up with him. it's such a pain in the ass.

Booby never starts shit with anyone, but everyone picks on the guy because he's a pain in the ass. Sometimes I feel bad because he tries to be nice to people, but sometimes he just frustrates me to no end. Construction workers are ruthless. Worse than the bullies in elementary school. The constant harassment is something that comes with the industry.

When I talk to him, he tries to give me this fatherly advice like "respect your elders," "help out your father," and "remember to save your money for a rainy day." it's kinda condescending because i'm not 10 years old and don't need to be told what to do. i don't even want to start argueing with him about earning respect and how my dad is an asshole.

Booby's a total suck up too. He gets to work early, leaves late, and gives sandwiches to the super on the job. I guess he does that because it's hard for him to keep a job otherwise.

i started to dislike booby, but then i heard what happened to him. the story's a little cloudy because i'm not going to ask boob for the details. apparently he's a vietnam veteran and he used to drink a lot and had a temper. one time he had a gun and some shit went doen. the groton police surrounded his house, and shot booby in the neck. he lost a lot of blood and almost died. some people say it was booby who turned the gun on himself. either way i felt like a total asshole for being such a dick to the guy. he's had a rough enough life already, and there i was making it harder for him. he's lucky to be alive. booby can't help it if he's a little slow now.

one time some of the guys at work were busting my balls a little, and booby got one or two jokes in on me. the other 2 guys, Rainman and Hineylicker laughed at me because even Booby was breaking my balls.

"Booby," I said, "You can break my balls anytime you want because you take a lot of shit and never get a chance to make fun of anyone."

Booby smiled. The Rainman and Hineylicker both looked at me wierd because I had just thrown a monkeywrench into the pecking order they were trying to establish with their reindeer games.

i find Boob a lot easier to tolerate now. I've talked a lot with him since then and I've gotten to know him better. he doesn't try to give me the cliche advice anymore, and i try to help him out when we're partnered up.
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Today I was visiting my friends Sam and Mark and I ended up watching the kids for a little bit. Sam's kids love me. both Elliott (7) and Isabella (5). Thet call me "Uncle Joe" even though we're not related.

Sam's 7 year old came up to me today with one of those plastic easter eggs you put candy in. he told me to close my eyes ans open my mouth, and i didn't do it. so he says "okay." and opens up the egg over my head and something war, wet, and clear pours out over me and drips onto my hands.
"what is this? water??"
"no. it's pee."
i smell my hand. "it IS pee! Elliott! you're in trouble, go to your room and wait for Mark to come home! that's disgusting! you don't do that!"

he got in trouble, but it was kinda funny. his mom sam, and her boyfriend mark both thought it was funny, but they couldn't let him know because then he'll do it again if he knows it makes people laugh. it's even funnier because his mom's into health food and she reads books about the health benefits of drinking your pee.

where the hell does he get these ideas? to whip out his little wiener and piss in a plastic easter egg and then dump it on somebody? sounds like something i'd do. <---shit eating grin