I've been thinking about life...and i'll be honest, alot of this comes from my constant viewing of sex and the city (yes, I know, I can't help it, i'm addicted) But, it makes me think, coming into the new year, I will be starting a whole new chapter in my life. I'm moving. I'm (hopefully) going to be at the university. I'm going to have a roomate. I've been living by myself for the last two years. I've been independant, relying mostly on myself and no one else. I go where I want, when I want, if my apartment gets messy it doesn't matter to anyone but me. I like my life like this, I like my apartment, I like living on my own, commuting to school and working. But this is all going to change.
I feel like i'm going on to the whole new place. Hopefully it will involve new people, but the thing I am most afraid about is the absence of the old people. I have my little world here in the burg. I know people in eugene, and I have my people in harrisburg. I have made it work. I also know that life moves on, and you have to move with it. But this is my question...will they still be there? I know that they will be, but it feels like I am moving a million miles away from my old life, and in a sense I am. Yes, they will still be there, and yes, I will still see them, but will it be the same. No. It won't and I know that, the question is, am I ok with that? I don' t know.
I have great people in my life, and you all know who you are. I am a firm believer that there are three types of people in your life. Those who you start with, those who come in for a while and leave, and those that will be there forever. I want you to be there forever. I want to grow old with you. I also want to meet new people and move on in my life.
I am going to have a two year degree under my belt. Which has taken me forever, but it will be an official piece of paper that tells me I have accomplished something with my time and my schooling. But I still have those next, at least two years. I am growing up. I am truly becoming an adult. And to be quite honest...it scares the shit out of me. Time continues to pass at such a fast pace, before I know it school will be done and I will be in the "real world". I don't know how or when, but I do know that it will happen. I just hope that everything I go through will prepare me.
I don't really know how to make to much sense out of all that I am saying right now, these are just fragmented thoughts that are coming out, but I am about to move into a whole new world, which involves new people, new classes, new living situations, and just a whole new life. I want to integrate the old into the new, but how exactly do I do that?
I feel like i'm going on to the whole new place. Hopefully it will involve new people, but the thing I am most afraid about is the absence of the old people. I have my little world here in the burg. I know people in eugene, and I have my people in harrisburg. I have made it work. I also know that life moves on, and you have to move with it. But this is my question...will they still be there? I know that they will be, but it feels like I am moving a million miles away from my old life, and in a sense I am. Yes, they will still be there, and yes, I will still see them, but will it be the same. No. It won't and I know that, the question is, am I ok with that? I don' t know.
I have great people in my life, and you all know who you are. I am a firm believer that there are three types of people in your life. Those who you start with, those who come in for a while and leave, and those that will be there forever. I want you to be there forever. I want to grow old with you. I also want to meet new people and move on in my life.
I am going to have a two year degree under my belt. Which has taken me forever, but it will be an official piece of paper that tells me I have accomplished something with my time and my schooling. But I still have those next, at least two years. I am growing up. I am truly becoming an adult. And to be quite honest...it scares the shit out of me. Time continues to pass at such a fast pace, before I know it school will be done and I will be in the "real world". I don't know how or when, but I do know that it will happen. I just hope that everything I go through will prepare me.
I don't really know how to make to much sense out of all that I am saying right now, these are just fragmented thoughts that are coming out, but I am about to move into a whole new world, which involves new people, new classes, new living situations, and just a whole new life. I want to integrate the old into the new, but how exactly do I do that?
Large chunks of time will fly by sometimes, and other times it will go slower and you'll feel as if you're watching a pot boil. Sometimes it will ache, sometimes it will be joyous. But the entire time, you'll be creating your own journey.... you just have no idea where you'll end up.
But let me tell you- it will be a surprise. I can tell you that, because I've done it a few times! More on that later, as my story unfolds... Even still, I am getting surprises... I thought that by the time hit 36 that life would be boring. I was so wrong!