jodi_marie

~EDITED TO ADD~

I had a memory tonight.

I could feel your skin
upon my cheek.
I was nuzzled in "my spot".

My world felt safe.
I was at home again
All my pain eased.

I could smell you
Sense the warmth
I could feel myself
Melting into you.

Back in reality I realized you hate me

Life seems to be going good
and yet I cry.

*
I felt the urge again last night
But really it wasnt an urge.

I dont know where it came from
But god did it feel good.

It was just that little release I needed
And know I know why.

I wish it could be better
I really do.

I feel that sensation pulsing through
And wonder why I ever stopped.

It was strange this time



**
I feel the tears well up inside
I wonder where I can hide
I dont want to face it

Ive felt enough pain
Ive swallowed my pride




***
I put my heart on the line for you.
Time and again it failed.

I must just be nave
It was all so new
I gave my heart to you.

Am I that hard to love?
It must be something with me.
What can I do to fix it.
It seems thats all I ever ask




****
I feel torn. I lost everything I knew. My whole world is unraveling. I want to slip into the shadows, get lost in a crowd. Will he ever notice me? I want to say yes, but my tears tell me no.

Its all the hype these days, its everyone you know. Someone warm to come home to. Where are you? You get the happy phone calls and all the I Love Yous.

I want my Mr. A man just for me. I need you to tell me how you feel. Why would you hide your love, and take it away so easily. Is it me? Did I fail? This is how I feel.