jodi_marie

I don't really know what to say, where to begin, or where to end. I had another breakdown the other night, ended up spending the begining of thanksgiving crying to my mother, and feeling pissed off, sick, sad, upset, and hurt. I had people call me a bitch, and call me selfish. Which may have been true but you know what, fuck that. I am having a hard time right now and i'm trying to get through it. And if I feel, like having a hard time about something then damn it, i'm going to have a hard time with it. I don't want to sit around and feel sorry for myself, but sometimes, I have to concentrate on myself. I don't know if I am making any sense or not but whatever, it doesn't really matter because i'm getting it out and in the end thats all that really matters right?

ugh. I'm tired and lonely. I want to go to bed, but for somereason tonight going to bed alone makes me want to cry. My back hurts and i'm just achy anc sad. Why am I always sad. I just want my lifel to get on track and to be ok. I'm not even neccasarily asking to be happy, I just don't want to be howI am! blug. whatever.

So I bought some Fiona Apple cd's today...I have been listening to it alot lately and I just like it. So, that made me happy. I also got two more holes in my cartilage, but i'm bummed because I have to wait until they heal to put in the corkscrew jewelery. But once I get that in its gonna look good. I'm excited about it.

Bed TIme...Goodnight