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jodi_marie

Oregon

Member Since 2005

Followers 42 Following 73

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Sunday Oct 23, 2005

Oct 23, 2005
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I feel like I am going to vomit puke puke puke

I'm on my way to my parents house to come clean about myself. Since they are the ones paying for my therapy I feel like they should know that I feel over-medicated, suicidal, and that I cut myself.

But, i'm scared. I don't want to scare them, stress them out or make them worry, but at the same time, they need to know how bad off I really am, and try to understand what i'm going through.

Ok people I need to hear something happy. Tell me a happy story, or a good quote or something good that I can listen to. I really need some good vibes coming my way...That and wish me luck

~EDIT~
So I just got home, and that was one of the hardert things i've had to do. I feel some what relieved that I finally told them, and that they know this has been my life since I was 13. They know about the cutting, and they are trying to understand. They are going to come with me to see my doctor to try and get some information on what exactly i'm going through, so he can give them some base of knowledge. But they want me to come stay with them for awhile. Which I know is a good thing, but at the same time, I like being alone. I've gotten used to my bed and being in it by myself...There is something comforting about my bed. The sad part is that as I was driving home to get my stuff just know, I had one of the strongest urges i've ever had, to cut. I know that I can't. Because now, i've made personal promised to two people....Two people that I just cannot let down. Each of them means so much to me and has helped me through all of this. I just already feel like a burden to my parents and after tonight I feel like an even bigger one. But its done, and its over and i'm going to hopefully get the help that I need. oiy
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
nonameninja:
I'm so freaking prowd of you....and I'm alwas here for anything...infact this weekend if you'd like we can do another dinner and movie night...
Oct 24, 2005
timtoxic:
I am proud of you too. It took a lot of couyrage to get some help. I do worry about you since your jornals are so depresive. Remember there are good people and friends out there. Most of us have been through a lot knowing what it is like and we don't easily forget. Lots of kiss and love to you. wink
Oct 24, 2005

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