jmsilverwolf

It's been way too long since my last post. I've allowed myself to get swept up into the mundane day-to-day of life, because it's often easier to do so then really look at life, and examine what's going on around me.

I'm typing this on my new Apple MacBook. I've always been a fan of Apple products, and the only two computers I've actually purchased from a store (including this one now) have been Apples. Just wish more software was both Windows and MOS based. Sadly, my favorite music engine is not one I can load on here, and Itunes doesn't do some of the things Yahoo Music Engine does. I may load Windows on here just for that program alone.

The Goddess and I haven't seen each other in about a month. It's strange. This is only the second long distance relationship I've ever tried. The first, with Pocket, fell apart while I was in New York. I've always wanted immediacy in my relationships. Someone I could hold in my arms on a regular basis. I've always been a proponent of the "love the one you're with" way of living. But with this one, the daily phone calls, text messages and online chats seem to be enough. We were hoping to see each other today, but that probably won't happen. But it's okay. I miss her. I long for her embrace, and to wrap he into my arms. To touch and taste and smell her. But I'm all right without. Guess I'm actually maturing. Or maybe finally coming to love myself is the reason. All I'm certain of is that I'm happy she's in my life, and though I'd like to see her more often, that's enough for now.

I rarely talk about my family much here, but they're doing well. My mother injured herself in a household mishap a few weeks back, but she's recovering well. My Dad's doing well at the church he's at. Sis is back to her regular routine of two jobs and school full time. I don't know how she does it, I can barely handle my one full time job. Guess I'll get a glimpse this fall when I start classes part time myself. I have an aunt who was diagnosed with marrow cancer bout two years ago now. She's doing well, having come much further back than most doctors thought she would. She was diagnosed late, as her regular gp didn't really give her the attention she needed. She's on another round of kemo and living strong. Another of mom's sisters is marrying her long-time live-in boyfriend in a couple months. The news of their official engagement brought a round of "about time"'s from most of us.

Things are all right at the Barn. I'm not getting much satisfaction out of the job these days, but it's nice to be in charge of my own department. I'm finally starting to take charge too, shaking up the staffing and scheduling, trying to find some new ways to get things done. I've got the support of the store manager, and it's nice to get down to doing things my own way again, now that I'm finally settled.

I'm trying to get m school plans finalized. I've got to finish filling out financial aid forms, and I need to talk to a counselor to set my plans for classes this fall. I'm hoping to just take a first year English and math course, ease myself back into things. We'll see how it all goes. My housemate's going back this fall as well. We've done a pretty good job of encouraging each other. He's a little older than me, and as had an even more frustrating time with higher ed than me.

Been in regular touch with a number of friends, some of whom are struggling, and some of whom are doing well. A couple ladyfriends of mine are coming to the end of romantic relationships they want to continue, and are trying to get through the heartache of that. I've tried to be a support to them, but it's hard when there's really nothing you can say to salve that kind of hurt.

Thanks for stopping by and being a friend. Silverwolf signing off.