jjscholar

3-25-07

I hope that everyone is having a good weekend.

For the most part, mine was a little busy. I had a meeting Saturday morning. I would rather not talk about it.

Right now, I am just enjoying an early Sunday morning.

The weather in Florida has been very beautiful.

What I am going to do right now, if possible is to upload a short story that I had written about six years ago. Basically, it is a first person narrative about a member of the Starship Voyager's engineering crew falling and being in love with Seven of Nine. As you can tell, it is based on the Star Trek Voyager television series.

The reason for writing this short story was simply because I was not happy with the quality of some of the latter episodes of Star Trek Voyager. So, I decided to see if: (1) I could write a short story at all; (2) see if could make any sense at all; and (3) do a better job than the Paramount Studio writers... I believe that I was able to write an entertaining short story that makes sense.

Before reading this short story, please remember that if you are not familiar with the Star Trek Voyager series, some of the terms for devices and places aboard the Starship Voyager will not make any sense to you.

Also, I would like to apologize in advance if there are any typo errors. During the pasting process, some of the text might have not been properly spaced. I have tried to make the story as easy to read as possible by modifying some of the text.

In addition, I would like to apologize if anyone would be offended. But please remember this short story does contain adult content.

Finally, let me know what you think of my little Star Trek Voyager story. I am not afraid to hear your comments.

Well that's about it for now as far as my usual blog stuff is concerned.



The title of this Star Trek Voyager Short Story is "The Crush."



Personal Log Of Crewman C. Jones:

Stardate 54730.25:

Ever since she has come aboard Voyager, I cannot get her out of my mind. Seven of Nine has the most beautiful eyes, hair, and voice of any woman that I have ever seen. Seven of Nine is tall with fantastic voluptuous curves. She walks with such incredible grace. I love everything about her.

Because Seven of Nine is such a paragon of pure unadulterated perfection, I can't take the chance of asking Seven out for a date. I feel completely inadequate by comparison. I am just an engineer's mate who mostly monitors engineering systems and works on either repairing communications equipment or the long-range sensors in the Astrometrics Lab.

In my spare time I would carry a tricorder and watch Seven of Nine without her knowing it. I would follow her all over the ship. On several occasions, I followed her to Cargo Bay Two where her regenerative alcove is.

One night I entered Cargo Bay Two without Seven seeing me and I watched her regenerate. She looked oh so beautifully peaceful in her alcove. I wonder if Seven can dream like other humanoids. I wish that I could be in her dreams. I just wanted to walk up to her alcove and kiss her goodnight.

I also recorded all of her interactions with other members of the crew. Watching her would always put me in total ecstasy.

That's about as close to being able to ask Seven of Nine out on a date as I could get. I would experience a great deal of anxiety whenever I am near her. I would start to shake whenever I am called to Astrometrics to do routine maintenance on the long-range sensors.

Whenever I would say something to Seven of Nine, I could not speak without stuttering every other word. Because of this, I felt that Seven thought of me as nothing more than a maladroit fool. I really wish that I had the courage to tell Seven of Nine that I am in love with her and to show her that I am an intelligent and loving person who would always adore her.

I wish that I could go out on a date with her. I don't know maybe have some drinks with Seven of Nine at a dance club. After words, I would ask Seven to take a walk with me. Perhaps the perfect place for our walk would be down Rue Bourbon in the French Quarter of New Orleans. Then, I would take her to a beautiful hotel room and make love to her.

Since, I was too much of coward to ask Seven out for a date, I have decided to program a holodeck simulation of what I think would be the perfect date with Seven of Nine.

I entered into holodeck two and requested the following:

"Computer establish a simulation program."

I named the program Jones' Date with Seven of Nine.

I then told the computer to convert my voice command code parameters to 20th century military phonetic alphabet. I told the computer to only accept the phonetic code "November Vector Alpha 1176" to access, activate and shutdown my holoprogram.

I had the computer confirm my voice command code. The computer confirmed my verbal command code November Vector Alpha 1176.

I then began to download the physical and mental parameters I wanted my hologram of Seven of Nine to have:

"Computer enter Seven of Nine's photo image from Voyager's database. Please use her natural skin tones, hair, eye color, vocal pattern, and overall body contour parameters. Make sure that she has voluptuous curves. Allow her to have her hair down. Have Seven of Nine wear a tight form-fitting short red dress with thin shoulder straps along with black fishnet stockings and black stiletto-healed shoes. Also, have Seven wear sexy red undergarments. Computer, download all available information on Seven of Nine's cognitive abilities. In addition, please input information on late 20th and early 21st century culture, with emphasis on popular music into the hologram of Seven of Nine's cognitive matrix. For her interactive sub-routines, download Seven's normal behavioral patterns from surveillance file Jones Delta 6. Finally, program the Seven of Nine hologram with the ability to fall love with me and appreciate late 20th and early 21st century popular music."

The computer then said, "Physical, cognitive and behavioral parameter download complete."

"Computer project Seven of Nine hologram."

The computer projected Seven's beautiful image.

I then told the computer to please put Seven of Nine's interactive features on stand-by for the moment.

For a while, I stared at the hologram of Seven of Nine. I loved the way she looked. She was so beautiful and so perfect." I walked over to the hologram of sexy Seven of Nine and kissed her and held her in a long and passionate embrace.

I then said, "Computer please download all the available late 20th century and early 21st century music files from Voyager's database and my personal music database to Holodeck Two's audio system."

The computer said, "Download complete."

I whispered to myself, "Now for the music"

"Computer, at this time please download Jones' music file Alpha-one: Christina Aguilera's 1999 hit song 'Come on Over Baby'."

Then the computer indicated, "Music file found --- download complete."

"Computer, play music file Alpha-one at 85db spl (Decibel Sound Pressure Level.) Repeat music file until otherwise indicated."

The computer began playing the song that I requested. Holodeck Two had great acoustics. I then told the computer to increase the volume of music file Alpha-one to 100-db spl. I decided to deactivate the music repeat mode.

"Computer deactivate repeat mode and stand-by for additional commands".

The computer deactivated the repeat mode and was standing by for additional commands.

I changed my mind about playing music file Alpha-one.

I said to the computer, "Computer stop music program file."

The computer terminated the music.

I then told the computer to play music file Bravo-two Janet Jackson's 1993 hit "That's The Way Love Goes."

The computer then said, "File found beginning music program."

The computer was instructed to keep the volume at 100-db spl. I didn't like music file Bravo-two as much as Alpha-one.

So I decided that the computer should terminate music file Bravo-two and switch back to music file Alpha-one.

I further instructed the computer to reactivate the repeat mode for music file Alpha-one.
I had the computer to activate the Seven of Nine hologram; and have her do a vocal performance of music file Alpha-one.

The computer indicated, "Commands accepted."

The Seven of Nine hologram began to sing, "Come on Over Baby."

As I talked to myself about the fact that I just didn't like music file Bravo-two as much as Alpha-one, I realized that Seven singing "Come on Over Baby" made no sense at all.

I then told the computer, "Deactivate the Seven of Nine hologram."

I said softly "Sorry Seven, I forgot your vocal range is nothing like Christina Aguilera's."

"Computer reactivate the Seven of Nine hologram and put it on stand-by."

The computer accepted my command.

"Now that I have the music, I can continue with getting my perfect date program done." Then all the sudden all hell broke loose.

I then heard a COM signal from Seven of Nine: "Seven of Nine to Crewman Jones."

Before I responded, I told the computer to freeze my holoprogram.

"This is Crewman Jones, go ahead."

Seven of Nine said, "Crewman Jones, report to Astrometrics."

"I'm on my way, Crewman Jones out."

I asked myself: "Now what, the long-range sensors are malfunctioning again?"

I am normally assigned to repair the long-range sensor systems in the Astrometrics Lab. So naturally assumed that's why Seven of Nine summoned me to the Astrometrics Lab.

I told the computer to shutdown Jones' Date with Seven of Nine program, command code: November, Victor, Alpha 1176.

The holodeck deactivated and I left the hollow deck to see what the problem was in Astrometrics. As I was heading to Astrometrics, I felt both euphoria and total dread. I felt euphoric about being able to be in the same room as Seven of Nine. Looking at Seven's beautiful body sends me into total ecstasy. But I also felt dread because working with her can be very difficult at best because of her Borg tendencies.

I walked into Astrometrics and said, "Crewmen Carolyn Jones reporting as order --- what can I do for you?"

I always had the habit of always fully introducing myself every time I reported for duty or when arriving anywhere I had to do repair work.

Seven then responded in a stern voice:

Ever since we were able to directly contact Starfleet, we have been receiving numerous holographic transmissions from friends and families of the crew in addition to holographic tactical upgrades from Starfleet. The relays in the transceiver overloaded last night when Ensign Kim downloaded the latest hologram we received from Starfleet into Holodeck One's pattern buffers. I told him that we needed to construct a new pattern buffer system; which would be compatible with the data storage relays of the transceiver. He said that we did not need a new pattern buffer system. We were fortunate that the transceiver relays have not overloaded several times before last night. I have told Ensign Kim on numerous occasions that Holodeck One's pattern buffers were not compatible with data storage relays of the transceiver. In addition, the transceiver's control systems require a complete overhaul.

While Seven was telling me this, I was undressing her with my eyes.

I also thought to myself, "I would love to grab her, pull her towards me and give her a passionate kiss. And all the while, I would begin caressing every part of her body."

Seven of Nine asked, "Crewman Jones, can you do the repairs on the transceiver and how long would it take for you to complete the repairs?"

I told Seven:

I cannot give you an estimate on how long it would take to completely repair the transceiver, because I am not fully qualified to do all of the repairs. I normally do only minor repairs on equipment such as the transceiver nothing as major as doing a complete overhaul on the transceiver's control systems. However, I can do some of the preliminary repairs, which would include the replacement of the relays. I can then notify Lt. Torres that she will need complete the repairs. Lt. Torres is the only person qualified to do a complete overhaul on the transceiver's control systems. Besides, I have to report to engineering in thirty minutes.

Seven said "Very well. Do what you can and notify Lt. Torres that she will need to complete the repairs. We need the transceiver back on line as soon as possible."

Before leaving the Astrometrics Lab, Seven said, "Crewman Jones, I will be in Holodeck One with Ensign Kim and the Captain. Complete what you can as efficiently as possible."

I said "No problem."

While Seven had gone to Holodeck One to activate the hologram we received from Starfleet, I started working on the burned out relays of the transceiver. All I had to do was replace the burned out components. My part of the repair work took about twenty minutes to complete.

I then notified Lt. Torres about the problem with the transceiver and told her that I was on my way to engineering to report for my duty shift.

I then thought to myself: "Damn, I won't be able to see Seven again for the rest of the day."

Before I left the Astrometrics Lab, I blew a kiss at Seven's workstation and whispered sexy and seductively,

"See you latter Seven."

After my twelve-hour duty shift in engineering, I went back to Holodeck Two to continue my perfect date with Seven of Nine program. Problem was that a couple of engineers were using the holodeck to work on simulations of shield modifications. I then decided to go back to my quarters; I can work on my date with Seven program tomorrow.

I fell asleep at about 2205. I woke up at about 0130 and stayed up until about 0500 when I fell back asleep.


STARDATE: 54731.18

My personal COM system woke me up at 0530. I forgot to deactivate it because after my shift I was so tired. I forgot that today is my day off.

I thought to myself that I really want to finish my simulated date program today.

I was able to gain access to Holodeck Two. It was 0600. I then order the computer to reactivate Jones' Date With Seven of Nine command code November, Vector, Alpha 1176.

I said to myself, "Now where were we? Oh yes, I have my favorite song and all of Seven's beautiful holographic features now it's time for me finish the rest of my date."

So, I told the computer that for the setting of our date is to be in late 20th century New Orleans on Rue Bourbon (or Bourbon Street) at a nightclub called The World Beat.

It was a basic dance club. It looked a little bit like our engine room except instead of a bluish warp core in the center there were multiple wooden beams. The nightclub had three levels and all of the floors were made out of redwood. There was fog and smoke from a special effects machine located in the ground floor. There were multiple sets of moving blue, green and red lights attached to the ceiling along with several silver spinning metal balls. At the west end of the first floor in a large metal cage, there was the DJ booth containing the sound system. Through out the nightclub, there were audio speakers suspended from the ceiling and sub-woofer speakers located in the wooden frame of each bar.

I had early seen an image of this nightclub from Voyager's historical database.

The computer then generated a holographic image of the nightclub. I finally told the computer to play some additional pop music songs from the late 20th and early 21st centuries in addition to music file Alpha-one; and fill the World Beat with an assortment of people.

After setting all of the parameters for my holoprogram I simply said to myself, "The music and the setting are now set. I can begin my perfect date with Seven."

Before I started my perfect date, I activated the holodeck's replicator system and replicated a form-fitting powder blue cat suit like the one Seven of Nine would sometimes wear along with some silver high-healed shoes. I also replicated a bottle of some late 20th century era perfume. I specified Calvin Kline's Obsession. It had a sweet sexy smell. I then sprayed some perfume all over my body before putting on my form-fitting outfit. I finished getting dressed and let my hair down. To complete my assemble; I put on a pair of women's Foster Grant sunglasses that I had bought before leaving Earth.

I told the computer to begin Jones' Date with Seven of Nine program. The music started with an early 21st century song called "Butterfly" by a group called Crazy Town.

The nightclub lights were flashing with their colors. From outside the nightclub, I could see blue, green and red light beams flashing about. I could hear the music from outside.

I then walked into the entrance of the World Beat and I could see fog and smoke coming up from the ground floor and would float ever so gently to the upper levels.

Standing next to one of the east end bars was Seven of Nine. I started to shake and I thought about walking out and telling the computer to end the program.

I said to myself that I should not be nervous. It's my program and Seven will love me. I just need to talk to her and the rest of the date will fall into place. As I walked over to Seven of Nine, I noticed that everyone in the World Beat was having a great time.

Seven looked straight at me and said, "Hello I'm Seven would you care to buy me a drink?"

I said, "I'm Carolyn and I would love to buy you a drink. What would you like?"

Seven said, "While I normally do not drink sythahol, White wine would be fine."

I walked up to a bar and then told the bartender one White wine for my date and spring water for me.

Seven and I began to talk about our interests. We talked about everything from late 20th century pop culture to basic temporal mechanics. Then we held hands and all the while I was looking into Seven's beautiful blonde hair and her sexy blue eyes.

After several drinks of spring water I decided to have a sythahol version of a 20th century mixed drink called Sex on the Beach along with an anti-anxiety drug that I had earlier replicated. I wanted to loosen my inhibitions enough so that I would have the confidence to ask her to dance with me and make love to me.

Seven asked me if I like that type of drink.

I said nervously, "Yes."

I asked, "Would you like a Sex on the Beach?"

I ordered two more Sex on the Beach for both of us. She seemed to like her drink.
Seven appeared to enjoy my company. I started to feel really comfortable with my date. I was surprised that we would hit it off quite well.

I don't know why I thought that. It's my simulation and I designed the hologram of Seven of Nine to be able to fall in love with me. I had out done myself with programming Seven's behavioral sub-routines.

I then asked Seven what her favorite song was and I told her that I would go to the DJ booth and request it.

Seven of Nine said quite bluntly, "Although for the most part I do not care for 20th century popular music, however, I do like a song called 'Come on Over Baby.'"

I then asked her do you mean the 1999 song by Christina Aguilera?

Seven said, "Yes."

I then asked Seven if she wanted to dance with me to her favorite song.

Seven said, "I would love to dance with you."

I went over to the DJ booth and asked him if he would play "Come on Over Baby" by Christina Aguilera?"

The DJ said, "You got it pretty baby! I need to start rockin the house."

Our favorite song started to play and I took Seven by the hand and we went on the dance floor. The nightclub lights were flashing and I was ready to dance with my lover.

I held her really close to me and she took off my sunglasses and told me that I was attractive. She said that my blonde hair and my blue eyes are quite appealing. Seven also told me that I had an attractive body. Seven then pulled me very close to her and gave me a very intense and passionate kiss. We were kissing out on the dance floor for a long time. While I was kissing Seven, I lost all track of time.

I felt that I was ready to ask her what I always wanted to ask her. I whispered in her left ear what I had wanted to ask her all night long,

"Seven, would you make love to me?"

Seven replied with her beautifully sexy and seductive voice,

"I would love to be with you."

At this point, I realized that I forgot to include with my date program a location for us to make love.

I told the computer to freeze the program and download from the ship's database, all visual images of the French Quarter of New Orleans along with a three-story hotel at the south end of Bourbon Street. I had the computer include interior as well as exterior features of all French Quarter buildings.

The computer acknowledged my requests.

I then said, "Computer resume program."

My date continued where I left off with Seven of Nine and the dance floor.

I then asked Seven "Would you like to walk down the French Quarter to the hotel where I'm staying?"

Seven said, "I would love to"

Before I could finish my date with Seven of Nine, there was a message from The Doctor.

"Crewman Jones, please report to sickbay."

I said, "Acknowledged."

"Now what?" I asked myself.

I then told the computer to deactivate Jones' Date with Seven of Nine, command code November, Vector, Alpha 1176.

I changed out of my sexy outfit into my uniform, deactivated my holoprogram at 1300 hrs and proceeded to sickbay.

I walked into sickbay wondering why the Doctor wanted to see me.

The Doctor said that it was time for my yearly physical.

I thought to myself,

"Doc, you are making me angry. I was about to make love to Seven of Nine on Holodeck Two and you had to call me into sickbay for a stupid physical!"

I did not actually say that to The Doctor but I wanted to tell him that.

The exam was quite boring. It consisted of the Doctor performing physiological scans and asking me about how well I have been sleeping lately.

I told the doctor that for the most part I had been sleeping well.

The Doctor then said,

"Crewman Jones, my scans of your cerebral cortex and emotion centers seem to indicate that you are experiencing an inordinate amount a stress. You also seem to not be getting enough sleep. Are you experiencing any difficulties with your job in engineering?"

I answered," No."

The Doctor also stated, "In addition, to your problems with sleep and stress, your electrolytes appear to indicate that you are not eating enough."

I said, "Doctor, I am taking nutritional supplements, so I do not need to eat much."

The Doctor lectured me about the fact that I need to eat more; and that eating more would not hurt me.

The Doctor then said that he noticed that I had been spending a great deal of time in Holodeck Two.

The Doctor said:

"Because of a recent directive issued by the Captain, all personnel who spend more than 25 hours per week in the holodeck are required to submit to a psychiatric exam to ensure the emotional stability of the crew."

According to the holodeck log, you have spent over 75 hours in Holodeck Two within the past 14 days. In addition, from my observations of your behavior at work, it appears that you tend to keep to yourself. I am concern that you may be experiencing some emotional problems.

The Doctor began to ask me a series of questions on my current state of mind and I simply indicated that nothing was wrong. I kept saying to The Doctor, "I'm fine, nothing is wrong with me."

The Doctor then had me answer 100 written questions regarding my emotional stability. I answered the questions in such a way that I would appear "Normal." I had taken these tests often enough since I had joined Starfleet to know how to "Correctly" answer the questions.

I knew better than to tell the Doctor that I am in love with Seven of Nine. The Doctor would have me relieved of duty and I would be treated by the rest of the crew as some sort of "Nut."

The Doctor finally said, "It appears that you are physically and emotionally fit for duty. However, may I make a suggestion? You need to socialize with other members of the crew. You are isolating your self too much."

I then asked the Doctor, "Is that all?"

The Doctor said in his usual authoritative manner, "You are dismissed."

I simply said, "Aye sir."

I left sickbay and ran to the turbo lift to get back to Deck Six and Holodeck Two so that I could finish my fantasy of making love to Seven of Nine. Unfortunately, while I was in sickbay wasting three hours of my day off with The Doctor and his boring physical, Lt Parris and Ensign Kim were in Holodeck Two playing a game of billiards.

I didn't care about the fact that they had reserved Holodeck Two from 1630 to1930. I was very angry that I could not finish my fantasy date with Seven. I really wanted to get to the part where I was going to make love to Seven.

I went to the gym to work out some of my anger about not being able to finish my fantasy date with Seven of Nine. Although I was in the gym for about an hour, I could not concentrate on my workout. All I could think about was being with Seven of Nine.

I decided to go to the nearest replicator and replicate some long-steam red roses for Seven of Nine. I had sufficient credits needed to replicate what I wanted to give to Seven of Nine. I wanted to express how much I love Seven of Nine. But I was still afraid to tell her directly.

After replicating Seven's roses, I proceeded to the Astrometrics lab to see if Seven were there. She wasn't. So, I decided to leave the roses on Seven's workstation before Icheb showed up. His shift started at 1800 hrs and it was 1735 when I brought in Seven's roses. Besides, Seven might come back before Icheb relieves her.

I left the roses at her workstation with the following handwritten note:

"Seven, these roses are for you. You are a beautiful woman. I love you Seven. From A Secret Admirer."

I then left the Astrometrics Lab and headed back to my quarters to replicate some dinner. I had not eaten all day. I replicated some salad with no dressing. I don't like to eat much. I love to stay skinny for Seven of Nine. The only thing that I wanted to hold down is liquid nutritional supplements.

After I ate my salad, I could not keep it down. So, I purged what I ate. The sensation of purging was exquisite. I became quite sexually aroused. At that moment, I visualized myself making love to Seven of Nine.

I decided to go to sleep early. I still had some sleeping pills that I replicated 21 days ago. It was 2100 hrs and I just wanted to get some sleep before 0530 so that I can get dressed and ready for my next duty shift at 0630. I finally fell asleep and I started to dream about how much I love Seven of Nine.

STARDATE 54732.15

While I was a sleep, Seven of Nine was working a double shift because Icheb was ill. Apparently, Seven discovered the roses and the note. She then notified Mr. Tuvok that she felt someone was harassing her.

I woke up at 0530 and noticed that security sent a message to all personnel via the ship's personal electronic COM PAD system stating that whoever left the secret admirer note to Seven of Nine was to

"Cease and Desist."

Commander Tuvok had signed the message.

After reading my copy of Tuvok's message on my personal COM PAD, I felt so hurt that Seven of Nine thought that I was harassing her. I love her and I would never, ever hurt her. I would always adore her. I was so upset that I sent a COM message to engineering and told Lt. Torres that I felt too sick to report for duty today. Lt. Torres told me to report to sickbay and not to worry about my duty shift.

I felt so much pain today that I decided to comply with Lt. Torres' order for me to report to sickbay. I then started to cry. I felt like that I wanted to die because Seven of Nine rejected me. She wasn't supposed to reject me.

I kept saying to myself, "I love Seven of Nine very much. How can she hurt me like that?"

I then headed to sickbay.

As I walked into sickbay The Doctor said, "Please state the nature of the medical emergency."

I held my head down and stared at the floor.

"Crewman Jones, what can I do for you?"

I still said nothing.

"Are you alright Crewman Jones?"

I started to cry quite violently, slammed my fists on a bio-bed several times and ranted:

"How can Seven of Nine be so cruel to me? I loved her! I only left a gift of long-steam red roses to symbolize how much I love her! But oh no, Seven has to signal to security and said that I am harassing her. What is wrong with her? Doesn't she have the ability to love anyone? I can't help that Seven of Nine is such a beautiful woman and that I'm so much in love with her!"

The Doctor then said:

"Crewman Jones, get a hold of yourself! I am sorry that you feel so hurt about Seven of Nine apparently rejecting you. You have to understand that Seven of Nine cannot handle the emotional aspects of a heterosexual romantic relationship much less your apparent feelings towards her."

I then asked still violently crying, "Doc what do you mean?"

The Doctor said:

"At the risk of violating doctor/patient confidentiality, Seven of Nine's cortical node is designed to shut down her higher brain functions whenever she reaches a certain level of emotional stimulation. Basically, if she were to attempt to experience strong emotions such as love, her cortical node would shut down her higher brain functions and could kill her. Sure, Seven of Nine could enjoy the physical aspects of sex but that would be all."

"You can tell Seven that you are in love with her but more than likely she will not reciprocate your love for her."

"Besides, I don't think she would ever have sex with you because of her Borg logic. In Seven's mind, sex is for procreation and serves no other purpose. Logically, two females engaging in sexual relations cannot produce an offspring. Therefore, Seven would consider your feelings towards her to be totally illogical."

I then said, "I can't believe it! You mean that Seven can never, ever reciprocate my love for her? Is there anyway to reconfigure her cortical node so that she can ever feel romantic love?"

The Doctor said:

Yes, that is what I meant when I said that she could not reciprocate your love for her. Although I have discussed with Seven about the possibility of surgically reconfiguring her cortical node, she did not wish to go through such a procedure. I am sorry that you had to hear this."

I then said, "I am sorry too!!!!" "I feel like such a fool for being in love with Seven of Nine. She is so beautiful and intelligent. I thought that I would be perfect for her."

"Crewman Jones, you are not a fool for loving someone. You have to understand that Seven cannot love you. Besides, you must also face the simple fact that love doesn't always turn out the way you expect."
I then said to The Doctor, "While I appreciate your help, I still feel very hurt that Seven of Nine cannot love me as much as I love her. I don't know if I will ever be able to get over this."

The Doctor then told me that it maybe a long time before I would be able to get over my feelings about Seven. "But you will eventually be able to move on with your life."

After words, The Doctor and I talked about how I could begin to get on with the rest of my life. I also told him that I would like to undergo psychological counseling in order to resolve my personal problems in a more constructive way.

The Doctor gave me a list of times when emotional support groups met. Before I left sickbay, I scheduled an appointment with The Doctor for my first counseling session with him.

STARDATE 54785.5

It has been about a month since that dreadful day when I broke down crying in sickbay and bared my soul about how I felt about Seven of Nine. I have started to get on with the rest of my life. While it will be a very long time before I will get over being in love with Seven of Nine, I now feel that with The Doctor's help I will begin to live a happier life.

To this date, Seven of Nine never found out who left the roses and the love note for her. And she never will.

THE END