Something I wrote today. Kind of an ongoing story so to speak. I hope to one day put the peices together. I've posted alot of the peices on here over the past few years I've been a member randomly and sparingly. Critisicism welcome.
does anyone know where to find motivation that bitch is avoiding me
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The mold of heartbreak, rejection, and disappointment had long since grown over his heart. He didnt care because he couldnt. There was nothing to express. His tears had long since dried away, replaced by a reservoir of unfeeling. It wasnt that he didnt want to care; he fought long and hard for a spark. He searched desperately for a ledge to pull him up out of his emptiness but there just wasnt anything there. This was just another tally on his soul; not even a footnote to the whole story. He glanced over at her. He knew what she thought; he knew what they all thought. They think I am a cold uncaring robot, an emotionless machine They didnt understand and never would. Indifference was an emotional death sentence and he was walking the line. It seemed that it had always happened this way. After the happiness had faded into routine and cute quirks into character flaws they would need something else. He was never able to quench their thirst for emotional connection, the thing that they craved. He could not give himself. He was dead, a shell of memories. Why would anyone want that? Why would she? Why did she need another empty box to fill?
He stood there as she sobbed, not knowing what to do, caught in a web of his own thoughts and insecurities. She looked up, black streaks of cheap mascara rolled down her face like war paint. Arent you going to say anything? she asked as her lips trembled. He struggled to think and stood still continuing to stare. His mind raced about playing out scenarios. Well she said with a look of desperation. Her dark brown eyes were reaching out, searching in his darkness for anything to give her hope. She knew that he hid, like a scared little boy afraid to come home. She just needed him to give her hope, to peek out behind that steel curtain of disconnect and let her know he was there, waiting.
He wouldnt budge and she sighed. Fuck it she mumbled and began to hurriedly gather her clothes and dress. She was gone before he even realized. He sat on the unmade bed, her scent still lingering on the sheets. Leaning back and rubbing his eyes he exhaled, Im sorry. He drifted into sleep, another tally on his soul.
does anyone know where to find motivation that bitch is avoiding me
--------------
The mold of heartbreak, rejection, and disappointment had long since grown over his heart. He didnt care because he couldnt. There was nothing to express. His tears had long since dried away, replaced by a reservoir of unfeeling. It wasnt that he didnt want to care; he fought long and hard for a spark. He searched desperately for a ledge to pull him up out of his emptiness but there just wasnt anything there. This was just another tally on his soul; not even a footnote to the whole story. He glanced over at her. He knew what she thought; he knew what they all thought. They think I am a cold uncaring robot, an emotionless machine They didnt understand and never would. Indifference was an emotional death sentence and he was walking the line. It seemed that it had always happened this way. After the happiness had faded into routine and cute quirks into character flaws they would need something else. He was never able to quench their thirst for emotional connection, the thing that they craved. He could not give himself. He was dead, a shell of memories. Why would anyone want that? Why would she? Why did she need another empty box to fill?
He stood there as she sobbed, not knowing what to do, caught in a web of his own thoughts and insecurities. She looked up, black streaks of cheap mascara rolled down her face like war paint. Arent you going to say anything? she asked as her lips trembled. He struggled to think and stood still continuing to stare. His mind raced about playing out scenarios. Well she said with a look of desperation. Her dark brown eyes were reaching out, searching in his darkness for anything to give her hope. She knew that he hid, like a scared little boy afraid to come home. She just needed him to give her hope, to peek out behind that steel curtain of disconnect and let her know he was there, waiting.
He wouldnt budge and she sighed. Fuck it she mumbled and began to hurriedly gather her clothes and dress. She was gone before he even realized. He sat on the unmade bed, her scent still lingering on the sheets. Leaning back and rubbing his eyes he exhaled, Im sorry. He drifted into sleep, another tally on his soul.
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I like that. It's full of juice.