A blog about golf on Suicide Girls by a (physically) 65 year-old man, or anybody, for that matter sounds like quite a waste of time to me. And yet I find that is all I am ever inspired to write about.
Take this morning, for instance. Naturally we were playing for money. At 65, I am the youngest. Rick is a couple of years older than I am, and Ross and Robert are in their 70's. Of course they play every day. I only play once a week because I still have to WORK.
Guess what? The puke emoticon is my favorite.
Actually, the emoticons are the only reason I even blog.
Anyway, there we were on 18 green. All I had to do was two-putt (does anyone here even know what that means? Golf is played outdoors in a large park that takes like four hours to walk around it. There are 18 holes. There are 18 greens where they mow the grass really short so you can "putt" on it. "Putt" means you hit the ball with a flat like magic wand that makes the golf ball roll towards the hole (but almost never in it). I really never have liked putting that much.
The rest of the course you're usually trying to hit the ball really far with clubs like a driver, 3-wood, 5-iron -- stuff like that, and you have to keep it out of lakes, and sand traps (big holes filled with sand), the trees, creeks, all kinds of "hazards."
So that's kind of a short explanation of what golf is. There's absolutely no reason to do it unless somebody has turned you on to it, usually when you're young. But when you get old it's good exercise. I actually believe that it keeps you alive.
There is absolutely no sex or drugs or anything like that involved. (More on that later
Maybe.)
Anyway, there I was, having just lost a dollar to Ross on the 17th (second to last) hole, now with a certain opportunity to make THREE DOLLARS on the last hole. All I had to do was two-putt from whatever I said the distance was before. The green isn't like marked out with distances on it or anything so how long any given putt actually is is just a guess.
EVERYBODY two-putts from whatever it was, 12 feet, 15 feet. I could have easily ONE-PUTTED. But I THREE-PUTTED. That means I didn't win the hole. I didn't get three dollars. It took me three tries from closer and closer to the hole to finally get the
ball in the hole.
So, wow! I didn't realize there were categories. Golf is not there. Neither are sports. I think the weather comes closest.
Here's the deal. I DIDN'T FUCKING WANT TO WIN THE HOLE
(To be continued.)
Take this morning, for instance. Naturally we were playing for money. At 65, I am the youngest. Rick is a couple of years older than I am, and Ross and Robert are in their 70's. Of course they play every day. I only play once a week because I still have to WORK.
Guess what? The puke emoticon is my favorite.
Actually, the emoticons are the only reason I even blog.Anyway, there we were on 18 green. All I had to do was two-putt (does anyone here even know what that means? Golf is played outdoors in a large park that takes like four hours to walk around it. There are 18 holes. There are 18 greens where they mow the grass really short so you can "putt" on it. "Putt" means you hit the ball with a flat like magic wand that makes the golf ball roll towards the hole (but almost never in it). I really never have liked putting that much.
The rest of the course you're usually trying to hit the ball really far with clubs like a driver, 3-wood, 5-iron -- stuff like that, and you have to keep it out of lakes, and sand traps (big holes filled with sand), the trees, creeks, all kinds of "hazards."
So that's kind of a short explanation of what golf is. There's absolutely no reason to do it unless somebody has turned you on to it, usually when you're young. But when you get old it's good exercise. I actually believe that it keeps you alive.
There is absolutely no sex or drugs or anything like that involved. (More on that later
Maybe.)Anyway, there I was, having just lost a dollar to Ross on the 17th (second to last) hole, now with a certain opportunity to make THREE DOLLARS on the last hole. All I had to do was two-putt from whatever I said the distance was before. The green isn't like marked out with distances on it or anything so how long any given putt actually is is just a guess.
EVERYBODY two-putts from whatever it was, 12 feet, 15 feet. I could have easily ONE-PUTTED. But I THREE-PUTTED. That means I didn't win the hole. I didn't get three dollars. It took me three tries from closer and closer to the hole to finally get the
ball in the hole.So, wow! I didn't realize there were categories. Golf is not there. Neither are sports. I think the weather comes closest.
Here's the deal. I DIDN'T FUCKING WANT TO WIN THE HOLE
(To be continued.)
devon: