No one ever warns you of the dangers of manscaping.
Say you're shaving with a razor thats not brand new, you get some scrapes, you get some bumps, you develop some razor burn. But we know why you're manscaping to begin with, right? You're gonna get some. So, despite the razor burn bumps and your irritation, you put your business to work. There's a lot of rubbing, grinding, tugging, and mixing of fluids.
Unbeknownst to you, this causes you to develop folliculitis. Which is like a dozen ingrown hairs at the same time. If you'd have noticed, it might just have stopped there while you cleaned them all up. But say you live a busy life and your lady wont be around for a few months so you only pay your cock enough attention to rub one out before bed. Weeks later you notice some red bumps around the base of your pubic jungle.
OH MY GOD I HAVE SYPHILLIS!
No. Its still just folliculitis. But now, because of ignorance, its become infected with staph. So, you need pills. Time to head to the urgent care because you don't have insurance and enjoy being raped in the butt financially.
You get there and explain your damage.. they put you in a room and a nurse takes your temp and blood pressure. When its all said and done she mutters "this can't be right" and she takes your blood pressure again. "Are you feeling okay?" she says. I tell her I'm fine. She leaves the room.
The good doctor comes in and tells me to drop my drawers so he can check out my junk. While he's down there I tell him that I know he hates fuckers who self diagnose but I did it anyways.. I tell him I have infected folliculitis, and I tell him the home treatments I've been giving myself. When he comes up from johnson city he says "you're right, its what you suspected. keep up your home treatments and let me prescribe you Keflex." and I think thats that. I need an antibiotic to make by penis attractive again. the end, right?
No. "How are you feeling?" he says. I tell him I'm a bit embarrased he saw my cock in a cold room but other than that I feel fine. He wheels the blood pressure machine over again and takes it one last time. When its done, he looks at it, looks at me, and says.
"These numbers would kill 92% of the human race". He runs through the list of symptoms I should have. Back pain, arm pain, headaches, blurred vision, trouble concentrating. I have none of them. He tries testing one more time and tells me he's debating calling 911. With my blood pressure I should be having a stroke or a heart attack and I might belong in the back of an ambulance. I tell him that high bp runs in the family and that maybe I've adapted to it (my regular body temp is 99.2, instead of 98.6) because I feel no illness because of it. He's obviously not convinced but decides to write a prescription for bp meds. I dont have insurance so, I'm a little pissed about it, but I'm sufficiently scared because everyone is looking at me like I'm wearing a vest of dynamite. The meds are fucking expensive.
I'll give it a try though. I've got some things I want to do with this life, and I need to be around for awhile.
But back to my original point.. have a second razor you ONLY use for downstairs, and change the blade CONSTANTLY. Otherwise, you'll give off the false impression that you have a STD and no one will want to get anywhere near your bits. Or butts.
Say you're shaving with a razor thats not brand new, you get some scrapes, you get some bumps, you develop some razor burn. But we know why you're manscaping to begin with, right? You're gonna get some. So, despite the razor burn bumps and your irritation, you put your business to work. There's a lot of rubbing, grinding, tugging, and mixing of fluids.
Unbeknownst to you, this causes you to develop folliculitis. Which is like a dozen ingrown hairs at the same time. If you'd have noticed, it might just have stopped there while you cleaned them all up. But say you live a busy life and your lady wont be around for a few months so you only pay your cock enough attention to rub one out before bed. Weeks later you notice some red bumps around the base of your pubic jungle.
OH MY GOD I HAVE SYPHILLIS!
No. Its still just folliculitis. But now, because of ignorance, its become infected with staph. So, you need pills. Time to head to the urgent care because you don't have insurance and enjoy being raped in the butt financially.
You get there and explain your damage.. they put you in a room and a nurse takes your temp and blood pressure. When its all said and done she mutters "this can't be right" and she takes your blood pressure again. "Are you feeling okay?" she says. I tell her I'm fine. She leaves the room.
The good doctor comes in and tells me to drop my drawers so he can check out my junk. While he's down there I tell him that I know he hates fuckers who self diagnose but I did it anyways.. I tell him I have infected folliculitis, and I tell him the home treatments I've been giving myself. When he comes up from johnson city he says "you're right, its what you suspected. keep up your home treatments and let me prescribe you Keflex." and I think thats that. I need an antibiotic to make by penis attractive again. the end, right?
No. "How are you feeling?" he says. I tell him I'm a bit embarrased he saw my cock in a cold room but other than that I feel fine. He wheels the blood pressure machine over again and takes it one last time. When its done, he looks at it, looks at me, and says.
"These numbers would kill 92% of the human race". He runs through the list of symptoms I should have. Back pain, arm pain, headaches, blurred vision, trouble concentrating. I have none of them. He tries testing one more time and tells me he's debating calling 911. With my blood pressure I should be having a stroke or a heart attack and I might belong in the back of an ambulance. I tell him that high bp runs in the family and that maybe I've adapted to it (my regular body temp is 99.2, instead of 98.6) because I feel no illness because of it. He's obviously not convinced but decides to write a prescription for bp meds. I dont have insurance so, I'm a little pissed about it, but I'm sufficiently scared because everyone is looking at me like I'm wearing a vest of dynamite. The meds are fucking expensive.
I'll give it a try though. I've got some things I want to do with this life, and I need to be around for awhile.
But back to my original point.. have a second razor you ONLY use for downstairs, and change the blade CONSTANTLY. Otherwise, you'll give off the false impression that you have a STD and no one will want to get anywhere near your bits. Or butts.
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
Well at least its all there....ummmm yea on that note...I agree with said above.