One thing I enjoy about the kink scene is that it is fairly small and you can track people's romances with relative ease. If you pay attention, you can see the ways in which people lie to themselves. For instance, I frequently see who people who claim that they are looking for "friends;" certainly they sincerely believe it, but it simply isn't true. It's quite a bit more accurate to say that they are looking for enablers, people who never criticize them while giving them attention, which in reality typically means indulging their worst and most maladaptive habits as long as some sexual desire is being gratified. I've experienced this a few times; the moment you tell someone something that they don't want to hear, your so-called friendship is over.
