jewishblues

I'm non-monogamous, in a sense. My early experiences with polyamory were, fundamentally, rationalizations for my own selfish behavior; I didn't know what I wanted because I hadn't done the hard work of thinking about it, and as a result I used non-monogamy as an excuse to avoid committing to someone out of fear that I would commit to the wrong person. As I've grown up a bit and learned who and what I fundamentally desire, I've come to the conclusion that most polyamorous relationships, triads and such, are at their core unsustainable, largely because every relationship runs into a time constraint. There are only so many hours in a day, and attention can only be subdivided so much before one partner begins to feel neglected and resentful. Nevertheless, from time to time you do meet someone who sparks a passion in you, and I think it's healthy to let someone pursue that passion. What I think is unhealthy is using perpetual seduction as a form of ego validation.