This moment in my life....this very moment while I am typing these words...could only be described as sublime perfection
I am sitting here in my living room with my laptop, right next to
Flashmo and his laptop, with a sleepy boxer at our feet...just hanging out, having a cup of really great coffee and sharing the joy of just "being" on a Saturday morning! No where in particular that we have to be...nothing in particular that we have to do! After the last few months being the way that they have been, it's moments like this that keep me going...I wrap them up with great care in my memory and tuck them away for later so that I can pull them back out and hold them close to my heart when he has to leave again. Life gives you these little gifts, and I'm working on being better at recognizing them for what they are; precious. I am a lucky woman!
This last week has been a little surreal for me, which is why that I for all intents and purposes dropped off the face of the planet. It was a trying week for me...one of those ones that in the end always seem to produce a moment of clarity for me if I just take the time to see it. If you read my blogs from last weekend, then you probably saw that I had been feeling a little lonely and overwhelmed by life; waiting out the last few days of this segment of
Flashmo's trip. And then, when I reached that moment in time when I was feeling sorry enough for myself to think that things couldn't get any worse...the powers at be proved me wrong when I got my very first spider bite! GAAAA-AAAACK!
I'm gonna spoiler the rest of this story...click at your own risk!
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
The little bastard bit me in the ass last Sunday sometime...I think it was when I was downstairs shooting the pictures that I posted last weekend for my honey. I didn't really notice it right away, I kind of remember thinking that something hurt for a second but it was pretty quick and then I didn't give it any more thought after that. A little later in the afternoon, I noticed what looked to me to be a zit starting on my butt. I didn't feel especially well, but just figured I was having a bad symptom day from my Lupus. Overnight, it got a little bigger but still not worriesome...by Tuesday morning, I was starting to see a red ring forming around the spot but was still not that worried about it. I thought it was a little cyst or something and then by the afternoon that day I knew that whatever it was probably needed to be seen by a doctor because the red ring around it had grown to be better than three inches across, was bright red, hot and painful and the little spot in the center had turned to a knot. I called my doctor's office, left a message for her to call me and then let my boss know that I might have to take the next morning off for an appointment and it wasn't until she said "Oh, I bet that's a spider bite!" when that thought finally occured to me. She's had a few Hobo spider bites, as have her children and she knew right away when I started to describe it to her the rest of what I was going to say and convinced me that I better go in and get it looked at. I ended up going to the Urgent Care that night and the doctor there confirmed that it was indeed a spider bite, probably from a Hobo. By Tuesday evening I started antibiotics, and things started to get a little better by the next day for a little while...the redness and swelling started to go down on the red ring but with the knot in the center getting a little angrier looking and it was becoming more painful. The next couple days kept up the same, with the redness around the outside getting a little better, but becoming increasingly painful and then by last night it had become pretty intolerable.
Flashmo ended up having to help me drain it last night, and I'd say that that experience was one of the most painful things I've ever been through! I was laying there, in pain...feeling the worst that I have in I don't know how long...and then when I just couldn't take it anymore he held me in his arms while I wept and that was when my moment of clarity arrived. He was so sweet about it, so loving as he wrapped me in his arms and I knew how incredibly lucky that I am to have someone like him to share my life with. It's not that I don't normally consider myself fortunate in that respect...it's just that there are some moments when that gratitude rushes over you like a wave and sweeps away all of the badness.
So, yeah. I'm here with my man this morning...just happy with "being". I'm gonna be making an appointment to get in to be seen again on Monday, I'll be needing lots more antibiotics to beat this fuckin' thing, but today it just seems so much better than it did yesterday because of him.
I wanted to thank everyone who left me questions for the next Vlog...I'm hoping to shoot it sometime in the next couple days. If you haven't left me a question for it yet...let's have it!! And, there's been lots of good stuff going on as well with some nice nights out with my honey to tell you about, but it's time to get heading today.
Hope you all have an awesome rest of your weekend!! Lots of loves to you all
Thanks for the kisses, sweetness.