Can you believe I have been a member for just over a decade! Wow! I feel so bad I haven't written a blog in so long but here I am!
Life is fanfuckingtastic right meow! My boyfriend and I have relocated to another part of Alaska for the summer and are having so much fun. We currently live in a lil town amidst where the rain forrest meets the ocean and let me tell you, the energy here is phenomenal. My creativity has sky rocket'd and I have been so very happy doing what I love best; being an artist!
Something I have done since I was a kid was to make jewelry. Just in the past few years I have picked this habit back up (kinda accidentally) and brought it to a-whole-nother level...here's my story...
After leaving my husband I moved back in with my mom and sister. It was just like being a teenager again (except I didn't have my old room). I was single, skinny from not eating and had acne. Hahaha it wasn't as bad as it sounds! I was so happy to be back home. I had been in an unhealthy and VERY drunken relationship for the past, almost, six years. Everything about me was what someone else preferred. It took me almost 2 years to return to my abnormal self! I wasn't wearing the clothes I like to wear (my battlevest was getting dusty), I wasn't listening to the music I love (Punks not dead!) and I was bloated and unhealthy from binge drinking. During that time, I thought I was happy.What the fuck? My now "wasband" was the first guy I had met to treat me "nice," or so I thought...after about a year his true colors started to show but I overlooked them because no one is perfect. I tried my best to help him become the better person he had the potential to be but instead he became more possessive and manipulating over me. One day I had, had enough of the drinking, I decided I was going to quit bartending and start doing something, ANYTHING outside of the bar. The bar had become our whole life and we were spending even our off time there (he was a bartender at the same bar as me). I think what helped me make the decision was when I started going back to college to work on my Bachelors of Fine Arts. I was so happy to be creating again and making friends with people who did more than just go to the bar all the time, they actually had lives and were outdoorsy. I had been living my outdoors experiences vicariously through Backpacker magazine. Pretty pathetic for someone who was born and raised in the last frontier! I decided I needed to change my life, so for almost 6 months I applied for every job available, anything from Blockbuster to Housekeeping, I didn't care what it was going to be I just wanted to get away from the bar scene. It was really hard to find a job because I had been bartending for such a long time I was sorta left with a stigma, but eventually I got a job at a bank because I had an immense amount of experience in cash handling and "customer service". It was like a breath of fresh air. I made friends and was happy...for a little while...
After I had asked my wasband to "please quit partying all night and coming home right before I have to go to work in the morning" countless times and had the gut feeling he was messin' around with some of my "friends", I gave him one warning. He broke his promise that same night. The next day after work I went straight home and packed the biggest suitcase I could find because I was getting the fuck outta that situation. I deserved better and I had no plans on being miserable the rest of my life. He literally begged me to stay. Can you imagine a 6'1" man lying on the floor clutching a 5'4" woman's leg like a child? Can you believe he even asked me for one last bang? Maybe he was trying to make light of the situation but he was probably still drunk from the night before. (This all happened after he crawled out of the dog haus. Yes, he would get so drunk he couldn't open the door so he would go sleep in the dog's haus.)
For months after leaving I was depressed. I felt like I had failed myself, I had turned into someone else and was embarrassed. But, from the ashes I was reborn, I was free and I could do ANYTHING I wanted to do!
So, I started making jewelry.
Reflecting back on how I started making upcycled jewelry, now, I can see it is a direct reflection of my transformation into something better. My favorite necklace broke, the one with the shark's teeth? You know, that one I wear when I'm out playing pool? So I fixed it. "That was fun." So I started playing around with other old pieces of jewelry, taking them apart and making completely new treasures. "This is cool!" A new and improved hobby had developed and I was making jewelry for friends too.
Fast forward to meow, I have opened an online shop on StorEnvy.com and. I. FUCKING. LOVE. IT. I can advertise my upcycled jewelry all over fucking social media and mail purchased items out to all sortsa places! Wanna see what I make?
The profit I make from the items I sell helps me afford new art supplies/community art classes. My ultimate dream is to be a tattoo artist, something I have wanted to do since I was 11 years old! I can't afford to finish my BFA with the University of Alaska (tuition is raised 10% every fucking year) even though I qualify for scholarships and students loans, I have found alternative and less stressful ways to study. My goal this summer is to produce an outstanding portfolio to present to one of my tattoo artist friends and to ask the question, "will you apprentice me?" And, if they say no (again), then I will just have to fucking teach myself. But! I can do it, I've been through hell and back, I can do whatever the fuck I want. I'm a fucking barbarian princess!
I hope you have found my story somewhat interesting, there's all sortsa other fucked up shit I have not included, but I can share that another time! Thank you for taking the time and allowing me to share an intimate part of my life. I hope to post a NEW set in the near future, I have already confirmed a photographer and I have A LOT more tattoos hahahahha
Please feel free to browse my online shop and support my lifetime dream :)
x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0xasdfjadsljfaewfjldjfa...