jesus_christ

i just woke up. i missed my mandatory meeting at goodwill. that was 5 hours ago. i have no chance. i need to work on this 10 page paper due in about a month on 2 instrumental pieces on baroque music. that should be fun.
i had a dream last night. i don't understand that much, i've forgotten most. i know that i was with my love, we were on a family vacation together, not our family, but mine. i hated that. we were on a boat eating sandwiches of strange concoctions, i think i thought about having a sweet bread with caramel corn sandwich. thinking about it now, that would have been a little dry. but i could not find the peanut butter.
we never did get in the hot tub. we never did sneak off and make that wonderful love that occurs when you have been looking in each other's eyes all day waiting for the moment that the two of you are alone and you can rip each other's clothes off in passion and succumb to the insatiable urge that has kept you going and kept you alive and happy all day. that fire. that fire that keeps the love natural. real. i think i woke up too early. but i lost it. if i go back to sleep, it won't return. in fact, i doubt sleep will return. now it's just me and the sounds of thunder. but a minute ago, it was me and that image of jesy. that moment or three after waking where the dream is still reality and reality is the nightmare. where you stare and stare and stare at the other side of your bed only to see nothing. when you wish that you had taken that trip this weekend to see her. when you cannot wait for the week which has not yet started to already be ending so that you can see her. so that you can smell, taste, hear, see, and feel her. so that all at once you can experience these in a simple kiss: the greatest painkiller of them all. and follow through in that love to the sex...and scream.
we shake the house.