OK, bear with me for a moment. There's a little background to this. I personally don't like flatulating in public, aka farting, and i hold it in until i either go home or find a restroom/bathroom that i can release it in. People make fun of me and giggle at the thought of a fartless wonder. I shrug them off and continue "acting civilized" by not farting and stinking up the place in a public domain.
THAT being said, i also don't particularly enjoy using public restroom for taking a deuce. NOT because of the noise or the smell, but, and this is a BIG BUT, because it seems that santa's helpers were the ones who built these bathroom stalls. NOW, some of you might be saying,
< "Why what the hell do you mean by this Jester?" to which i would say to, just look at the damn stalls!!! 98% of stalls built are like 3ft wide and 6ft deep. Maybe a small grade school boy/girl could fit into that size of a stall, but a full grown man will NEVER be comfortable sitting in a stall of that size. The second thing is, try not to giggle, the toilet paper DISPENSER. i know.. silly ... not after this it won't be. Look where they place the toilet paper rolls. their inside of a rotating machine that is screwed into a wall at about shin height. with the actual paper being dispensed at just above the ankle height. so that no matter HOW hard you TRY, you will NEVER EVER get a full 4+ squares without the roll ripping on you and forcing you to use 2-4 different 2-4 section pieces of TP. which inevitably ends up with your finger in your bum, leaving you to play, "smell my finger" 
with the next 22 people you encounter OR shaming 
you into building a pocket in whatever your wearing and hiding your hand in it until a later time and date.
just ludicrous
THAT being said, i also don't particularly enjoy using public restroom for taking a deuce. NOT because of the noise or the smell, but, and this is a BIG BUT, because it seems that santa's helpers were the ones who built these bathroom stalls. NOW, some of you might be saying,
< "Why what the hell do you mean by this Jester?" to which i would say to, just look at the damn stalls!!! 98% of stalls built are like 3ft wide and 6ft deep. Maybe a small grade school boy/girl could fit into that size of a stall, but a full grown man will NEVER be comfortable sitting in a stall of that size. The second thing is, try not to giggle, the toilet paper DISPENSER. i know.. silly ... not after this it won't be. Look where they place the toilet paper rolls. their inside of a rotating machine that is screwed into a wall at about shin height. with the actual paper being dispensed at just above the ankle height. so that no matter HOW hard you TRY, you will NEVER EVER get a full 4+ squares without the roll ripping on you and forcing you to use 2-4 different 2-4 section pieces of TP. which inevitably ends up with your finger in your bum, leaving you to play, "smell my finger" with the next 22 people you encounter OR shaming you into building a pocket in whatever your wearing and hiding your hand in it until a later time and date.
just ludicrous