jester55

i often lay in bed wondering why im not enough... ive never been enough
not for my family not for my coaches not for any woman ive cared for and
what is worse not for myself..... or at least thats how i feel.... so much pressure bears down on me
every single day.... every day someone reminds me of how smart i am how everyone expects such great things out on the track in school and in life... im getting burnt out to have everyones ideals forced and resting upon my shoulders its tiring...its horrible knowing that if i let down for even the slightest moment i let so many people down... so i find myself pushing people away pushing people away that absolutely mean the world to me.... especially one person in particular... it two weeks shes quickly become the center of my world i wake up hoping that shes texted me i talk to her throughout the day theres a connection there thats undeniable but yet theres always something keeping me from the people i care most about and im sick of it im tired of it i cant do it anymore so it really is time for me to go in seclusion to truly push away the people that mean everything to me because its just easier when everyone is gone...

its just easier

Matt Jester Reuter

goodbye for a while my friends