Ive been sitting in this empty room virtually all day. No lights or TV on, no noise except the sounds of screaming toddlers on the other side of the closed door. It is 4:30PM and Ive only left the room twice: once to go out to the pool for 2 hours, and then once about twenty minutes ago to get a drink. Why am I telling you this? Because I dont think you understand my predicament.
I received an unfortunate DUI on August 15, 2010 around 1:08AM for making an illegal U-turn. I wasnt driving terribly, had barely blown over the legal limit, yet Im handcuffed and stuffed into a cramped room full of lesbians and meth heads for approx. 20 hours.
Their french fries sucked, by the way.
So here I am, slammed with court dates, fees, rules and regulations, I lose my license, and ultimately, my car, and then my sister slams me with a, Hey, me and my boyfriend and three kids want this $1,000 place and need you to pay $500 a month plus half the utilities!
Oh, gee willies! I get to room with you, your boyfriend, and three kids when I can have my own place for HALF of that!?! Boy, oh boy! Id rather stick my head in an oven, thank you.
So after my dearest and loving sister kicked me out of the house in Dunedin, I stayed in a hotel for about a week until my doomed future of a roommate offered me the empty room in her apartment, a room Id have to share after I unknowingly acquired a 3rd--then eventually 4th--roommate in an already cramped 2 bedroom apartment.
Thankfully, that didnt last long. She turned out to be a bat-shit crazy Puerto Rican that made up a lot of crazy accusations and made me out to be a charity thing and that I owed her millions of apologies and thank yous for all that shed done for me. Whacked.
And now here I am, again, in my third home placement. After being told in so many words that my parents did a shit job raising me and that Im, and I quote, a rabid wolf that needs to be trained into a dog, I am now emotionally and psychologically demented so severely that I feel like I need to just sit in this room until my court required counseling sessions are up. (That would be 7 weeks on Tuesdays from 5:30-6:30, but whos counting?)
I also have chosen not to eat while Im here because it deems to be a huge problem with some of the things I do, one in which I will not discuss because it is Face Book and, forgive me for being blunt when I say this, 90% of my friends will have a field day with my personal choices.
But anyway, back to matter, the reason why Im this rabid wolf, as Im told, is because I need to be trained to do certain things. First of all, I cant eat the last of anything. If there is piece of cheese left, I cant eat it. Even though the last time I bought groceries, I didnt get to see any of the juice or snacks I bought for myself, but thats not a big deal.
Id also gotten yelled at for leaving an oven mitt on warm stove because it could start a fire. Id left a wrapper on the counter and got yelled at for that as well. Id also gotten yelled at because their children had gotten into my personal things, buried deep in my clothing, in my basket, where its not easily accessible.
Now, if theres one thing Ive learned from my terrible parents, its that Ive learned not to cry over spilt milk. And I say this lightheartedly because with me in my DUI situation, IE - having no car, no license, owing lots of money, taking 2 classes that I dont need when I can actually take a college credit course, having probation, an irreversible record, high car insurance, and essentially no friends or family to help me with this, I am also dealing with manic depression due to said predicament.
Lets face it, unlike most of you chipper little duckies out there, I wasnt loaned anything to pay for fees, I didnt really have somebody there to drive me whenever the hell I need something. Im taking buses, taxis, paying acquaintances for rides to get where I need to go. And if youre still dumb enough to think, A DUI is not that bad, shut up. Pull out your calculator, you stupid jewbag numb dickfaced bigot.
Im about to tell you exactly HOW MUCH it cost me to get a DUI. Ready?
-$250 for bail
-$100 car impound
-$500 probation officer fee
-$250 prosecutor fee
-$250 DUI class
-$30 Victim Impact Panel Class
-$100 alcohol evaluation
-$25/wk for 10 weeks for alcohol counseling
-$2.50 one way bus fare 2x/daytwice a week
-$15 for each document I need to send to probation officer to show that Ive completed classes and community service.
-$30 average cab fare to get to classes
-$600 to reinstate my license
-$1,700/year for 3 years for SR-44 car insurance. Paid upfront.
-$1,800 in general DUI fees
Ive had to sell my car, move from the area into an area I have no idea how to get around just so I can take of my business. But you know what? Im doing what I need to do to take care of my mistakes. I actually get treated differently from people after I tell them I got a DUI. My boss even asked me of I booze in between clients because she knew I had a problem with alcohol. Can you believe that?
Anyway, for those of you who are still reading this, Id like to think that I am living FUCKING proof that being white is not all that cracked up to be. I feel like the Rodney King of financial fuckedness, the Harry Potter of bullshit law enforcement, and the Gilbert Grape of Where the hell did my life go wrong? Well, I think he and I are kind of in the same boatI wish he was real and had a Face Book so we could talk this out. (Im trying to input a little comedy to break up the hostility in my cold, cold little heart.)
So this is me. Im learning to adjust to essentially every personality in Florida and am feeling more and more like everybodys verbal fucking punching bag. If you are down and out, people will try their damn best to make sure they suck any confidence or happiness left from you. And it sucks because thats the last thing Id ever do to somebody whos down on their luck, much less depressed as all hell.
But if theres one thing Im going to say about what Ive learned from this experience, is not whether Im ever going to drink and drive again, because Ill put my heart down on the Bible and ask for a lobotomy if I make this same mistake again, its that Ive learned to stay humble, keep smiling, and to dream big.
A lot of you pigeon-faced cocksuckers laugh in my face now for saying Im going to make lots of Benjamins and beyond (if there is such a dollar bill that exists), but you wont when youre lying in a cold, dark room with nurses wiping your asses instead of your own family, while mine has the decency, much less the courtesy, to remember to pay me a visit on my death bed.
Good riddance, assholes.
Biggie and Tupac forever
I received an unfortunate DUI on August 15, 2010 around 1:08AM for making an illegal U-turn. I wasnt driving terribly, had barely blown over the legal limit, yet Im handcuffed and stuffed into a cramped room full of lesbians and meth heads for approx. 20 hours.
Their french fries sucked, by the way.
So here I am, slammed with court dates, fees, rules and regulations, I lose my license, and ultimately, my car, and then my sister slams me with a, Hey, me and my boyfriend and three kids want this $1,000 place and need you to pay $500 a month plus half the utilities!
Oh, gee willies! I get to room with you, your boyfriend, and three kids when I can have my own place for HALF of that!?! Boy, oh boy! Id rather stick my head in an oven, thank you.
So after my dearest and loving sister kicked me out of the house in Dunedin, I stayed in a hotel for about a week until my doomed future of a roommate offered me the empty room in her apartment, a room Id have to share after I unknowingly acquired a 3rd--then eventually 4th--roommate in an already cramped 2 bedroom apartment.
Thankfully, that didnt last long. She turned out to be a bat-shit crazy Puerto Rican that made up a lot of crazy accusations and made me out to be a charity thing and that I owed her millions of apologies and thank yous for all that shed done for me. Whacked.
And now here I am, again, in my third home placement. After being told in so many words that my parents did a shit job raising me and that Im, and I quote, a rabid wolf that needs to be trained into a dog, I am now emotionally and psychologically demented so severely that I feel like I need to just sit in this room until my court required counseling sessions are up. (That would be 7 weeks on Tuesdays from 5:30-6:30, but whos counting?)
I also have chosen not to eat while Im here because it deems to be a huge problem with some of the things I do, one in which I will not discuss because it is Face Book and, forgive me for being blunt when I say this, 90% of my friends will have a field day with my personal choices.
But anyway, back to matter, the reason why Im this rabid wolf, as Im told, is because I need to be trained to do certain things. First of all, I cant eat the last of anything. If there is piece of cheese left, I cant eat it. Even though the last time I bought groceries, I didnt get to see any of the juice or snacks I bought for myself, but thats not a big deal.
Id also gotten yelled at for leaving an oven mitt on warm stove because it could start a fire. Id left a wrapper on the counter and got yelled at for that as well. Id also gotten yelled at because their children had gotten into my personal things, buried deep in my clothing, in my basket, where its not easily accessible.
Now, if theres one thing Ive learned from my terrible parents, its that Ive learned not to cry over spilt milk. And I say this lightheartedly because with me in my DUI situation, IE - having no car, no license, owing lots of money, taking 2 classes that I dont need when I can actually take a college credit course, having probation, an irreversible record, high car insurance, and essentially no friends or family to help me with this, I am also dealing with manic depression due to said predicament.
Lets face it, unlike most of you chipper little duckies out there, I wasnt loaned anything to pay for fees, I didnt really have somebody there to drive me whenever the hell I need something. Im taking buses, taxis, paying acquaintances for rides to get where I need to go. And if youre still dumb enough to think, A DUI is not that bad, shut up. Pull out your calculator, you stupid jewbag numb dickfaced bigot.
Im about to tell you exactly HOW MUCH it cost me to get a DUI. Ready?
-$250 for bail
-$100 car impound
-$500 probation officer fee
-$250 prosecutor fee
-$250 DUI class
-$30 Victim Impact Panel Class
-$100 alcohol evaluation
-$25/wk for 10 weeks for alcohol counseling
-$2.50 one way bus fare 2x/daytwice a week
-$15 for each document I need to send to probation officer to show that Ive completed classes and community service.
-$30 average cab fare to get to classes
-$600 to reinstate my license
-$1,700/year for 3 years for SR-44 car insurance. Paid upfront.
-$1,800 in general DUI fees
Ive had to sell my car, move from the area into an area I have no idea how to get around just so I can take of my business. But you know what? Im doing what I need to do to take care of my mistakes. I actually get treated differently from people after I tell them I got a DUI. My boss even asked me of I booze in between clients because she knew I had a problem with alcohol. Can you believe that?
Anyway, for those of you who are still reading this, Id like to think that I am living FUCKING proof that being white is not all that cracked up to be. I feel like the Rodney King of financial fuckedness, the Harry Potter of bullshit law enforcement, and the Gilbert Grape of Where the hell did my life go wrong? Well, I think he and I are kind of in the same boatI wish he was real and had a Face Book so we could talk this out. (Im trying to input a little comedy to break up the hostility in my cold, cold little heart.)
So this is me. Im learning to adjust to essentially every personality in Florida and am feeling more and more like everybodys verbal fucking punching bag. If you are down and out, people will try their damn best to make sure they suck any confidence or happiness left from you. And it sucks because thats the last thing Id ever do to somebody whos down on their luck, much less depressed as all hell.
But if theres one thing Im going to say about what Ive learned from this experience, is not whether Im ever going to drink and drive again, because Ill put my heart down on the Bible and ask for a lobotomy if I make this same mistake again, its that Ive learned to stay humble, keep smiling, and to dream big.
A lot of you pigeon-faced cocksuckers laugh in my face now for saying Im going to make lots of Benjamins and beyond (if there is such a dollar bill that exists), but you wont when youre lying in a cold, dark room with nurses wiping your asses instead of your own family, while mine has the decency, much less the courtesy, to remember to pay me a visit on my death bed.
Good riddance, assholes.
Biggie and Tupac forever
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
jessicadiana:
Hello sarcasm!
morbidnyckid:
Yes...biggie & tupac forever lol. Sorry you're down on luck but I actually enjoyed reading your blog.