Mosquitoes, Blood, Rain.
Lately, I have noticed an overwhelming temptation, from somewhere deep within myself, to type something. But whenever I sit and stare at a blank screen all I can think to do is type one phrase like Hot and Cold, select, copy and hit paste about ten thousand times.
This may be somewhat indicative of my mood as of late.
The push and pull I feel on me from all sides is overwhelming but for once in my life it doesnt stress me as it should because at least this time I know that Ive done everything I can to be a good person and that the trouble itself appeared to be unavoidable.
Two nights ago at work, a coworker of mine, Tammy, tried to kick out an unruly drunk. It was already too late however and by the time he finally left he wound up getting jumped by one of the people he insulted. His two Neanderthal-like friends jumped in and proceeded to kick the mans face into the pavement until his jaw was shattered and he no longer knew where he was or what had happened. These were the same two friends with whom he had shared a booth, and the same two who had apologized several times for his behavior. The jumper himself was incapacitated and bleeding by the time his friend noticed the trouble. Once he arrived it was too late to save him, but in his attempt to avenge his honor, I suppose, he himself got pounded. It took seven cop cars, an ambulance, ad a fire truck to handle the situation. When it was all over there was nothing to show but a pool of blood slowly staining the concrete, a dirty restaurant, and a half eaten, syrup covered, dark waffle. As we struggled to clean up the tables we had left when took off running to do whatever we could to help, Tammy told me she felt responsible. And all I could tell her was, sweet heart, they were gonna fight no matter what you did. At least you got them to do it outside. Look on the bright side I said, at least we can just wait for the rain to wash the blood away instead of being elbow deep in it with a scrub brush.
Thats pretty much how I feel about my life right now. The self indulgent side of me wants to complain and say this is what I get for being nice but in all honesty the trouble was coming no matter how I prepared at least this way Im not elbow deep in blood.
So as the mosquitoes crawl all over my arms and head, as the sun rises slowly over my jungle like back yard, and as my girlfriend sits in bed wondering when I will join her and if I am ok, I can honestly say that Im content to simply smoke another cigarette and wait for the rain
Lately, I have noticed an overwhelming temptation, from somewhere deep within myself, to type something. But whenever I sit and stare at a blank screen all I can think to do is type one phrase like Hot and Cold, select, copy and hit paste about ten thousand times.
This may be somewhat indicative of my mood as of late.
The push and pull I feel on me from all sides is overwhelming but for once in my life it doesnt stress me as it should because at least this time I know that Ive done everything I can to be a good person and that the trouble itself appeared to be unavoidable.
Two nights ago at work, a coworker of mine, Tammy, tried to kick out an unruly drunk. It was already too late however and by the time he finally left he wound up getting jumped by one of the people he insulted. His two Neanderthal-like friends jumped in and proceeded to kick the mans face into the pavement until his jaw was shattered and he no longer knew where he was or what had happened. These were the same two friends with whom he had shared a booth, and the same two who had apologized several times for his behavior. The jumper himself was incapacitated and bleeding by the time his friend noticed the trouble. Once he arrived it was too late to save him, but in his attempt to avenge his honor, I suppose, he himself got pounded. It took seven cop cars, an ambulance, ad a fire truck to handle the situation. When it was all over there was nothing to show but a pool of blood slowly staining the concrete, a dirty restaurant, and a half eaten, syrup covered, dark waffle. As we struggled to clean up the tables we had left when took off running to do whatever we could to help, Tammy told me she felt responsible. And all I could tell her was, sweet heart, they were gonna fight no matter what you did. At least you got them to do it outside. Look on the bright side I said, at least we can just wait for the rain to wash the blood away instead of being elbow deep in it with a scrub brush.
Thats pretty much how I feel about my life right now. The self indulgent side of me wants to complain and say this is what I get for being nice but in all honesty the trouble was coming no matter how I prepared at least this way Im not elbow deep in blood.
So as the mosquitoes crawl all over my arms and head, as the sun rises slowly over my jungle like back yard, and as my girlfriend sits in bed wondering when I will join her and if I am ok, I can honestly say that Im content to simply smoke another cigarette and wait for the rain
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I'm begginning to come to that realization too. The best thing I could do is give it my all. To give my 1000 percent. If shit don't turn the way I want, oh well. I'm training myself to think this way cuz if I don't, then my mind will find all kinds of teeny weeny spots in my life when I shoulda zig when I shoulda zag, try to create a chain connected one fuck up to another, leading to the inane conclusion: If I didn't scrap my knee when I was 10, then I would've become president of the United States.
Yeah, my mind is a weird place to be in.