jessewestend

Who I am now (who I now cease to be)

I searched for the words to make you believe,
to bring you comfort, and put you at ease,
I typed and I typed to just make you see...
who i am now, and who I now cease to be.

This burning that compells, this welling need in my chest...
this desire that swells to be on my best
(behavior) and focus to embody my thoughts
to personify my desire to shed what i've lost.

I searched for the right words to make you see,
how beautiful you are when you look up at me
(whether in love or in lust, smiling or screaming)
and into my child's eyes in wonderous dreaming...

I've been cataloguing the
cluttered contents
of my overstocked mind.
I've filed and sorted
and sifted through time.
I've been especially concerned
with my history with words.
The ones I've recycled
and carefully rehearsed.

What good are my lessons if my heart will not learn?
The small pile I'll save... the rest I will burn.

What good is my vision, if i'm not seeing you?
Of what use is my thinking if my thoughts are not new.

What good are my lessons if my heart will not learn?
The small pile I'll save... the rest I will burn