Fucking Super Bowl. I have never in my life been this bored out of sheer anticipation. I have ran out of internet. I was supposed to hang out with the girl today but she worked from 4 am-about 4pm and THEN got into a huge drawn out family situation and understandably just wanted to go to bed... but now what!?!? I"ve already been to In n Out burger today.... what else is there? ok, I know i'm in sf but:
1. a situation with my bank back home has left me broke for at least the next few days
2. I am worried about the girl and that sort of has me down
3. the rest of my brain is totally devoted to worrying about the super bowl and my day tomorrow and just wishing the god damn thing would start. I also wish I was back home so I could watch it with my father, i've been waiting my whole life to gloat about a steelers victory (granted if we lose and I don't kill myself, it will be easier to avoid his smugness from 2300 miles away)
And now:
CONFESSIONS OF A REPENTANT ASSHOLE
It's going to be weird to only have one person to rely on for emotional support. In the past, I have had so many people to turn to when someone let me down and I am aware this made me an asshole. But thats why i'm rearranging my whole life. I don't know, growing pains are obviously to be expected.. i guess i can liken it to a coke head getting out of rehab and trying to have a good time sober... except for the fact that this only applies to my bad days. Thursday was one of the best days I've ever had because not only was it good but it was guilt free. There were no moral questions and one else to figure out how to manage in such a way as to not lose their affection should i need it in the future. Of course, that lead to a sobering friday morning when i realized that sitting around the house alone like i have been is going to seem alot lonelier if she isn't around. Oh well, time to be human i guess..
UPDATE:: ha ha, ok i just talked to her ad now i feel amazing... sigh. Tomorrow will be a good day. Tonight ? Champnya and Gi Joe. sounds good.
1. a situation with my bank back home has left me broke for at least the next few days
2. I am worried about the girl and that sort of has me down
3. the rest of my brain is totally devoted to worrying about the super bowl and my day tomorrow and just wishing the god damn thing would start. I also wish I was back home so I could watch it with my father, i've been waiting my whole life to gloat about a steelers victory (granted if we lose and I don't kill myself, it will be easier to avoid his smugness from 2300 miles away)
And now:
CONFESSIONS OF A REPENTANT ASSHOLE
It's going to be weird to only have one person to rely on for emotional support. In the past, I have had so many people to turn to when someone let me down and I am aware this made me an asshole. But thats why i'm rearranging my whole life. I don't know, growing pains are obviously to be expected.. i guess i can liken it to a coke head getting out of rehab and trying to have a good time sober... except for the fact that this only applies to my bad days. Thursday was one of the best days I've ever had because not only was it good but it was guilt free. There were no moral questions and one else to figure out how to manage in such a way as to not lose their affection should i need it in the future. Of course, that lead to a sobering friday morning when i realized that sitting around the house alone like i have been is going to seem alot lonelier if she isn't around. Oh well, time to be human i guess..
UPDATE:: ha ha, ok i just talked to her ad now i feel amazing... sigh. Tomorrow will be a good day. Tonight ? Champnya and Gi Joe. sounds good.
cain:
thank you for the compliment. i think i saw your name somewhere and clicked on it. i recognize it from arlo's set i think. we live in the same city.