the wise musings of a 36 year old.......
due to my childhood abuse (causing PTSD) and bipolar disorder......i have hard to work extra hard emotionally to get where i would like to in life.
i have, since the beginning, been working hard as if towards a goal. the goal being that "everything would be okay".
i guess in my mind i though if i could get over my demons a/k/a "issues", life would be easy.
well......i have learned....life isn't easy, for anyone.
life can have great joy, great tragedy and everything in between. sometimes their are reasons that makes sense, sometimes reasons that don't make sense, and sometimes no reasons at all.
there will always be challenges and things that make me unhappy in life.
i break it down into
work
relationships
homelife/living situation
my goal was always to eradicate the difficulty and/or therapize myslef into such a state where i would be past everything enough, that things would "work out"
well......things can and will "work out", becuz i think i have found what i need to do.
1. accept myself the way i am.
this does not mean i will stop growing and evolving, it simply means i am not longer going to "wait until i am better" to start living.
2. learn ways to cope with the shit life throws my way, in a way that works for me. not what other people works for them and THINKS should work for me, but what truly works with who i am.
3. find situations/relationships that coincide with what *I* can handle and feel comfortable with doing so.
i do not have to contort myself anymore to "fit" where i think i should.
i need to find places where i can be symbiotic with.
places and people that feel like home.
so far i have found one of the three......my work.
i love it, and no matter what shit does down....i still know inside how much i love it.
the others will come in time.
due to my childhood abuse (causing PTSD) and bipolar disorder......i have hard to work extra hard emotionally to get where i would like to in life.
i have, since the beginning, been working hard as if towards a goal. the goal being that "everything would be okay".
i guess in my mind i though if i could get over my demons a/k/a "issues", life would be easy.
well......i have learned....life isn't easy, for anyone.
life can have great joy, great tragedy and everything in between. sometimes their are reasons that makes sense, sometimes reasons that don't make sense, and sometimes no reasons at all.
there will always be challenges and things that make me unhappy in life.
i break it down into
work
relationships
homelife/living situation
my goal was always to eradicate the difficulty and/or therapize myslef into such a state where i would be past everything enough, that things would "work out"
well......things can and will "work out", becuz i think i have found what i need to do.
1. accept myself the way i am.
this does not mean i will stop growing and evolving, it simply means i am not longer going to "wait until i am better" to start living.
2. learn ways to cope with the shit life throws my way, in a way that works for me. not what other people works for them and THINKS should work for me, but what truly works with who i am.
3. find situations/relationships that coincide with what *I* can handle and feel comfortable with doing so.
i do not have to contort myself anymore to "fit" where i think i should.
i need to find places where i can be symbiotic with.
places and people that feel like home.
so far i have found one of the three......my work.
i love it, and no matter what shit does down....i still know inside how much i love it.
the others will come in time.
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
Yes. You will make it and keep on thinking that you will.