jennynicole

I can't deal with the possibility of change right now and yet change is attacking me from all directions. Change in school (after graduation in May), change in location (i think i want to move), do I go to grad school or get a job, change in health habits (this NEEDS to be done and I don't think I can commit), change in relationship status. Change is everywhere and I am a control freak and I want to just be satisfied with what I have. I don't want change. I want what I have to be enough. But it isn't. Because I walk around feeling empty when I should be feeling whole. I walk around silently wishing I could scream and get this huge lump in my throat out. I don't think I've ever been so fucking lost in all my life.