Work has been far too busy lately, I feel that I'm working far too many hours and yet my paycheck is still lacking. Need to save up for London and that's not really working since I've been trying to shop my way out of depression. (Not a good idea, and quite self-defeating, I know)
Feeling incredibly confused lately, just in general.. about almost every aspect of my life. I don't know what to do about it because to be quite honest I don't have time right now to schedule appointments with a therapist, waste an hour a week regurgitating my confusion to a "professional" who will tell me nothing, and will just sit there and let me talk. I already know how I feel and generally why I feel that way, I simply don't know how to alleviate the confusion and going to therapy isn't going to alleviate it, it will just make me think more, in turn making me reconsider that which I already know about myself thereby making me even more confused. Maybe my past experiences have been bad ones, although I'd argue otherwise.. but to me it seems that therapy is good for people who need someone to help them realize what is actually going on in their lives because their view of the world or themselves for some reason or another has been miscontrued. In my own experience therapy has made me much more aware of myself. Being aware, possessing the knowledge that when you are depressed it is all in your head, it is a reality that you have created and therefore can only be destroyed by you, gets me no where. Knowledge can't cure you. I'm led by my heart and my emotions, yet i'm stubborn and a perfectionist. I'm too intelligent to allow my emotions to make my decisions for me, but its in my nature to do so. Notice how my argument continues in a seemingly endless cycle, once I've made a point I immediately respond with a counterpoint, or a point to further the previous point eventually followed by a counterpoint that either defeats the whole argument or continues spiraling in the same fashion. This is what occurs in my head when I say that I'm confused or depressed. My head will simply not stop thinking. I'm not angry at anyone else, I'm not wishing pity from others. I am aware of what I do, I simply want to know if anyone might have any suggestions that could possibly break this cycle. Maybe some new bit of knowledge, maybe just a distraction.. anything that makes me stop obsessing about myself and my own problems or lack thereof and then in turn obsessing about how horrible it is for me to be so selfish as to obsess about my own problems... would be great.
M'kay, thanks bye.
Feeling incredibly confused lately, just in general.. about almost every aspect of my life. I don't know what to do about it because to be quite honest I don't have time right now to schedule appointments with a therapist, waste an hour a week regurgitating my confusion to a "professional" who will tell me nothing, and will just sit there and let me talk. I already know how I feel and generally why I feel that way, I simply don't know how to alleviate the confusion and going to therapy isn't going to alleviate it, it will just make me think more, in turn making me reconsider that which I already know about myself thereby making me even more confused. Maybe my past experiences have been bad ones, although I'd argue otherwise.. but to me it seems that therapy is good for people who need someone to help them realize what is actually going on in their lives because their view of the world or themselves for some reason or another has been miscontrued. In my own experience therapy has made me much more aware of myself. Being aware, possessing the knowledge that when you are depressed it is all in your head, it is a reality that you have created and therefore can only be destroyed by you, gets me no where. Knowledge can't cure you. I'm led by my heart and my emotions, yet i'm stubborn and a perfectionist. I'm too intelligent to allow my emotions to make my decisions for me, but its in my nature to do so. Notice how my argument continues in a seemingly endless cycle, once I've made a point I immediately respond with a counterpoint, or a point to further the previous point eventually followed by a counterpoint that either defeats the whole argument or continues spiraling in the same fashion. This is what occurs in my head when I say that I'm confused or depressed. My head will simply not stop thinking. I'm not angry at anyone else, I'm not wishing pity from others. I am aware of what I do, I simply want to know if anyone might have any suggestions that could possibly break this cycle. Maybe some new bit of knowledge, maybe just a distraction.. anything that makes me stop obsessing about myself and my own problems or lack thereof and then in turn obsessing about how horrible it is for me to be so selfish as to obsess about my own problems... would be great.
M'kay, thanks bye.
We need to get together sometime soon