I find myself extremely depressed. I feel like I have ruined our lives and instead of moving forward we have moved back. We are not ahead. We are not advancing. In fact we are slipping. Falling. Failing. My happy mask has more cracks than a plumbers convention. I don't know if I can make it work. I want to. But I feel the outlook is far to grim. What did I do? 
Sucks you feel so bad.
Maybe in a month you'll be jumpin' up and down w/ happiness....