jenatalia

So todays blog is about my family. I went out to breakfast today w/ my fam (well most of em) and I'm just stressed out because of em. My parents worry the hell out of me, my mom just found out she has diabetes. Which my dad already has, so now my mom is super depressed(can't blame her) I know I'm overly emotional when it comes to such things, but I'm just freaked that all their health problems are going to get more and more serious. My rents are in their early 50s I don't want to be worrying about them dying. I know most people live until they are 70ish at least, and I'm hoping that they outlive that. But I'm such a worrywart it's ridiculous so I always lay in bed at night thinking about them. My older brother and his wife n' kids are moving to San Diego in 3 weeks. This pretty much was just announced a few days ago. I knew that they were considering moving but I didn't think it'd be this soon, I thought that we'd have more time together. I'm gonna miss my neice and nephew so frickin' much. I take for granted that they live literally a block away from my house, I'm not going to see them grow up and this really upsets me. My older sister and I used to get along good when we lived under the same roof, but it's like when I hit highschool me and her drifted apart. I started hanging out w/ my friends and she w/ hers. I hung out with all the stoners, skaters and "goth" kids and she hung out with all of the preppy goody two shoes. We just drifted apart, then I started dating my bf and we have been pretty inseperable since. I moved out of my parents house and in with my bf when I was 18. Ever since then it's like she's a cousin that I only hear from every so often. We're both guilty because we never talk to eachother unless we're with our parents or if it's online.She married her husband last summer, and guess who wasn't in the wedding? Me. Yup that's right. Her only sister was not in her wedding. She didn't even consider asking me, which I found extremely insulting considering her husband even asked my little brother to be in it. She didn't send me a formal invite of any sort to the wedding or even the bridal shower. She called me the morning of the bridal shower asking me if I was on my way? I was like wtf? I don't have a gift or directions, so I didn't go. I went to the wedding because I love her, even though the whole time I sat there wondering why I wasn't in the wedding. Anyways, a couple weeks ago I was supposed to go to a concert with her and the night before I had to cancel on her because I had to go to work that friday because I had to pay my taxes and didn't reach the amount I had needed yet. So she's pretty pissed at me at the moment because she ended up going with her husband instead. I understand that where she's coming from, I fucked up, but I didn't realize how soon the concert was and I had alot of money that I had to make at work and I had to go to work on a friday night instead of spending money that I don't have to go to a concert and out to dinner. If she had done it to me, I would be dissappointed not angry, but I would understand. My mom told me about how pissed she was and told me to talk to her about it, but honestly..I don't think she should be mad, I'm still angry at her for not having me in her wedding, you only get married once, you only have one sister who should be your bridesmaid? Me or some girl who really didn't want to be there, some girl who complained about the dress, some girl who complained about the chapel, some girl who is totally twofaced and snobby and made fun of our family to their friends while we were there. *sigh* And then we have my little brother, who is going to be 19 in august, graduated highschool last year. Doesn't have a job(hasn't had a job yet) and still lives at home. Not only is that frustrating because the rest of us kids have had a job since we were 14/15 but he has no desire to even look for a job. I get it he wants to take time off, but it's really worrying me. I know I'm not some great role model....but at least I have a job. I've had one since I was 15. I have my own house, car, I'm getting by. Well....my little brother has just started smoking cigarettes. Year after year of him telling my mom to quit, and having an inhaler for his asthma. He smokes. He doesn't have a job, but he says its to relieve stress. I'm not quite s ure what he's stressed about?? My mom is furious with him about this. She doesn't smoke anymore, due to health reasons (sigh) but you would think after seeing her, my grandma and grandpa go through health problems due to smoking cigarettes you wouldn't smoke? I guess that' s just me. He's on medication besides his inhaler so this is all just friggin retarded. Man...I'm so stressed right now from just writing this. I wish everything would be ok with everyone. I love my family don't get me wrong but yeesh.

I think it's time for me to go take a nap, haven't gone to bed yet today. Sorry bout my ranting on and on, but it gives you guys something to read aboot.Enjoi!

Ps-sorry if this jumps around alot, just wanted to get it off me chest.