jena

1. I'm going to knock down my friends' list bc no one really interacts with me here though many do on other sites.

2. My self mutilation has gotten so aggressive over the last year. Just tonight I was viciously scratching my face which already has cuts but no hair pulling. I always have the urge to smash my head into hard objects which I normally do all the time but I'm staying w a friend right now and can't do this. Makes my stress much worse. The best (or worst, idk how people see things) is there is a cure for my behavior: smoking cigarettes. I will stop hitting my head, pacing and acting like Benny & Joon. This is raw information but no one comments here so I don't care. Medication doesn't help me with these issues and I can unfortunately understand why other people mutilate themselves or become hard drug addicts even. You just have this total urge to destroy yourself and cause pain for release, it sucks.

10. That's it, this was too raw. I wasn't always like this.