As I have been confirmed active until March, I'd like to clarify any assumed confusions by my lack of desire to explain much.
*** EDIT: After I posted all of this- a model on this site private messaged to have me banned when meanwhile I was already on the phone with SGServices asking to speak to the staff who had emailed me about my initial request to cancel this account regarding a bank issue. So much for being polite and leaving cheerfully.
1. Staff requested information regarding my ultimate decision to cancel after cheerful yearly payments of membership at a time and I replied to the appropriate source.
2. I continue to actively hoard vintage and current fashions of pornography and photographic art in relation to nude modeling and subcultural expressions of whatever embodiments appeal to me personally through over 20 years of media observations and collecting materials. SuicideGirls no longer appeals to me personally and I am frankly no longer interested much in representations of tattoo / etc culture in people under the age of 30. I also am more pleased with the active media representation of popular black artists who have adopted traditional tattoo retro which I find to be very inspiring and exciting.
3. I question myself for any association outside the current political & community work I am doing and regularly warn people to not tag my photos even on FB as some folks or institutions should not be associated with any radical activist who has financial ties to many locally established groups doing incredibly powerful and peaceful work which I respect and serve.
4. I wish you all the beast!
*
On the side, I used to enjoy my membership so that I could sell materials in private groups and gain information from other creative vendors in their unique auctions and personal marketing. I don't have enough money for anything anymore. The state is working with me in full "support." My home is currently 55 degrees & my healthy roommate and I are both afraid to undress for showers. We wear puffy flight jacket styles in our offices / rooms with warm hats, scarves and gloves. We certainly pay our rent on time and occasionally get blessed by our landlord's scapegoating protests. Things are reasonable in our apartment and the landlord thanks us for holding the upstairs apartment's food because their fridge & freezer broke due to "their own fault" according to Sir landlord.
While my partner here is very physically healthy, my documented history of deplorable health is fast on the rise again. I even used to be pretty obese a few months ago. No longer. I took measure and shelled out 3 months of rent last month to be moved into a private studio with heat and am waiting for renovations to be complete working in courtesy to my disabled new landlord who has one foot and travels by wheelchair. I wish I could be making it up.
Unfortunately in this meantime, I am back to vomiting every single day due to PTSD and a documented history of self mutilations ranging from clawing my arms bloody to tearing out my hair. I have ritually begged supportive doctors, even placing myself in psychiatric wards pleading & literally bleeding for immediate medication to stop me from hyperventilating, vomiting and a more recent concern regarding the sad fact that I can no longer keep down common vitamins and sometimes brushing my teeth causes me to start vomiting. I currently have no access to legal drug coverage at all. I also just recovered from a bleeding oral lesion due to my crooked jaw & over bite which has caused years of repulsive scarred tissue inside my cheeks which could be partially corrected by metal braces. I am not entitled to dental coverage yet.
To control my own floundering health which has caused me to lose a lot of weight, I have re-adopted the powerful concept of taking on a mostly vegan and raw diet focusing mainly on common proteins. Sometimes I can focus a full day's work of phone calls with concerned authorities on beverages and proper snacks. It is also rewarding to know that a formerly homeless child of NYPD descent and relative crap has these choices of self made control. It is remarkable how horrifically unpleasant a human animal can react and behave simply because their flesh cannot tolerate the elements of Winter or of physical hunger. When I finally sit down to consume a proper meal to thwart morning vomit, I feel blessed. When I lost 80 pounds in 2001 due to this shit, doctors were up in arms.
One of the myriad reasons I chose to have my neck tattooed on both sides is to practice self control in preventing myself from clawing my flesh off. AGAIN. This was entirely the reason I chose to half sleeve my arms that I used to tear apart.
In closing, my local police think it's wonderful that I'm presenting my pitbull Daisy in an effort to further support my passion for work with incarcerated individuals to align myself with already established programs of mutual rehabilitation for the true dregs: Only those who peacefully survive beatings and neglect can understand all concepts of working therapy. When Daisy and I look at each other or touch each other, we seem to have the most timeless knowledge of years past. We share a common history - I once had my head savagely beaten into a cement wall with a metal vacuum cleaner rod after my ankles were beaten as my parent screamed "DANCE!" and my beautiful Daisy for the first time ever allows me to give live demonstrations to strangers letting me touch and display the scars on her ears where killers had failed in trying to cut them off. Prior to meeting me, simply blowing on her ears caused a reaction of violence.
"It's a wonderful life if you can find it!" - Nick Cave
This is the song "Micha" by Integrity, Pitbulls For Peace's first international supporters. The singer, Dwid shared his support by recalling his beloved childhood pitbull being forcefully removed and destroyed by police due to media witch hunts of not only pitbulls but of young people at the time (he was 14, now older than me) on shows like Geraldo falling victim to prejudice of kids with shaved heads into punk music and heavy metal culture. The lyrics to "Die Hard" which is the song after "Micha" entail Dwid's thoughts on humanity for making him kill his beloved pet.
Peace be with you and within. ♥
*** EDIT: After I posted all of this- a model on this site private messaged to have me banned when meanwhile I was already on the phone with SGServices asking to speak to the staff who had emailed me about my initial request to cancel this account regarding a bank issue. So much for being polite and leaving cheerfully.
1. Staff requested information regarding my ultimate decision to cancel after cheerful yearly payments of membership at a time and I replied to the appropriate source.
2. I continue to actively hoard vintage and current fashions of pornography and photographic art in relation to nude modeling and subcultural expressions of whatever embodiments appeal to me personally through over 20 years of media observations and collecting materials. SuicideGirls no longer appeals to me personally and I am frankly no longer interested much in representations of tattoo / etc culture in people under the age of 30. I also am more pleased with the active media representation of popular black artists who have adopted traditional tattoo retro which I find to be very inspiring and exciting.
3. I question myself for any association outside the current political & community work I am doing and regularly warn people to not tag my photos even on FB as some folks or institutions should not be associated with any radical activist who has financial ties to many locally established groups doing incredibly powerful and peaceful work which I respect and serve.
4. I wish you all the beast!
*
On the side, I used to enjoy my membership so that I could sell materials in private groups and gain information from other creative vendors in their unique auctions and personal marketing. I don't have enough money for anything anymore. The state is working with me in full "support." My home is currently 55 degrees & my healthy roommate and I are both afraid to undress for showers. We wear puffy flight jacket styles in our offices / rooms with warm hats, scarves and gloves. We certainly pay our rent on time and occasionally get blessed by our landlord's scapegoating protests. Things are reasonable in our apartment and the landlord thanks us for holding the upstairs apartment's food because their fridge & freezer broke due to "their own fault" according to Sir landlord.
While my partner here is very physically healthy, my documented history of deplorable health is fast on the rise again. I even used to be pretty obese a few months ago. No longer. I took measure and shelled out 3 months of rent last month to be moved into a private studio with heat and am waiting for renovations to be complete working in courtesy to my disabled new landlord who has one foot and travels by wheelchair. I wish I could be making it up.
Unfortunately in this meantime, I am back to vomiting every single day due to PTSD and a documented history of self mutilations ranging from clawing my arms bloody to tearing out my hair. I have ritually begged supportive doctors, even placing myself in psychiatric wards pleading & literally bleeding for immediate medication to stop me from hyperventilating, vomiting and a more recent concern regarding the sad fact that I can no longer keep down common vitamins and sometimes brushing my teeth causes me to start vomiting. I currently have no access to legal drug coverage at all. I also just recovered from a bleeding oral lesion due to my crooked jaw & over bite which has caused years of repulsive scarred tissue inside my cheeks which could be partially corrected by metal braces. I am not entitled to dental coverage yet.
To control my own floundering health which has caused me to lose a lot of weight, I have re-adopted the powerful concept of taking on a mostly vegan and raw diet focusing mainly on common proteins. Sometimes I can focus a full day's work of phone calls with concerned authorities on beverages and proper snacks. It is also rewarding to know that a formerly homeless child of NYPD descent and relative crap has these choices of self made control. It is remarkable how horrifically unpleasant a human animal can react and behave simply because their flesh cannot tolerate the elements of Winter or of physical hunger. When I finally sit down to consume a proper meal to thwart morning vomit, I feel blessed. When I lost 80 pounds in 2001 due to this shit, doctors were up in arms.
One of the myriad reasons I chose to have my neck tattooed on both sides is to practice self control in preventing myself from clawing my flesh off. AGAIN. This was entirely the reason I chose to half sleeve my arms that I used to tear apart.
In closing, my local police think it's wonderful that I'm presenting my pitbull Daisy in an effort to further support my passion for work with incarcerated individuals to align myself with already established programs of mutual rehabilitation for the true dregs: Only those who peacefully survive beatings and neglect can understand all concepts of working therapy. When Daisy and I look at each other or touch each other, we seem to have the most timeless knowledge of years past. We share a common history - I once had my head savagely beaten into a cement wall with a metal vacuum cleaner rod after my ankles were beaten as my parent screamed "DANCE!" and my beautiful Daisy for the first time ever allows me to give live demonstrations to strangers letting me touch and display the scars on her ears where killers had failed in trying to cut them off. Prior to meeting me, simply blowing on her ears caused a reaction of violence.
"It's a wonderful life if you can find it!" - Nick Cave
This is the song "Micha" by Integrity, Pitbulls For Peace's first international supporters. The singer, Dwid shared his support by recalling his beloved childhood pitbull being forcefully removed and destroyed by police due to media witch hunts of not only pitbulls but of young people at the time (he was 14, now older than me) on shows like Geraldo falling victim to prejudice of kids with shaved heads into punk music and heavy metal culture. The lyrics to "Die Hard" which is the song after "Micha" entail Dwid's thoughts on humanity for making him kill his beloved pet.
Peace be with you and within. ♥
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
toothpickmoe:
D'awwwww. Obviously she's had a rough day.
toothpickmoe:
Somehow she'll pull through, I'm sure.