jelly_bean

so i realized that my time management skills suck...as in i have none and realized just how much work i have to do. it's not good, but what can ya do?
i often feel like this...



and then i think i could use this on my door...



but i had a loooong talk w/ joual while i was at work today and i pretty much had a slight breakdown from everything. and by "slight," i mean massive. i felt like mr. zebra...



anyway, i realized i can get the stuff i need done, done, i am just going to have to let some things drop by the way-side. first thing, i am going to have to hold off on having my article published in february. i am just going to work on it after and get it done for march or whenever, it is just the one thing that i can cut a bit. plus, i am writing about detention centers like guantanamo being a "necessary evil" and how it's hard to shut it down - w/ obama now in office, he wants to close it, but he put a hold on it, so i want to see how it develops a bit longer. but it's the one think i can push off a bit more as there will always be a journal i can publish in at some point.

it's funny, i was such the bleeding heart liberal when i first moved to israel but now, i can see myself going further down toward the center of things. believe me though, there will always be things i am very liberal on, but living in israel, it can change your perspective on a lot.

anyway, so we talked, i am going to get a bunch of papers graded tomorrow. like a shit ton. at least half of what i have (which is like 20 but whatever...). i can do it...my boy believes i can do just about anything, so what he says is true i have the weekend to finish them up. i want them in by sunday so i can focus the week on studying for my final. i have a paper due friday. i need spss. i hate spss w/ a passion. does anyone know spss? it sucks...hardcore. and apparently, the free downloadable-for-a-month version is shit. so, i will have to skip a class to use the computer at school...whatever. i won't learn much anyway. it's the last week of classes.

but i really hate spss.



i didn't budget my time well and it's kicking me in the ass. next semester, i will be better..promise.

but joual was amazing and was there for me. i couldn't ask for some one better than him, i really couldn't. he really calmed me down and just made me feel better. at the end he was like "you probably hate me." i told him i couldn't be mad, he told me what i needed to hear and helped me figure out how to get shit done. i <3 the boy very very much. hopefully he will be home next weekend - even more so, hopefully the course he is supposed to do for 2 months won't be canceled, b/c then he will be home just about every weekend. he was told that his last day in the army is sometime mid july. so he's almost done which is exciting.

but if he's home, it's just burgers, movies on the couch and relaxing. best way to spend the weekend...ever.

and we might see "benjamin button." he made fun of how i say "button" - it's my brooklyn-long island hybrid accent....

usually i am more upbeat and humorous, promise...but i worked 10 hours in front of a computer, had a breakdown and now i am tired. i graded a paper but i am just really not able to focus. so i think i will sleep now and wake up even earlier than planned so i can stay on the schedule that we put together.

next time, i promise more w/ the funny.

in the meantime, i leave you w/ this...which is also how i feel....



xoxo