jekyllandhyde

Hey, I got my internet back. And I also finished my MFA program. Win-win.

Last night, I should have been killed in a car accident. I should have flipped over a guardrail and ended up dead. I saw it coming as I spun helplessly after being rammed on the highway by a semi. Instead, both I and my car somehow emerged without a scratch.

I can only ascribe this to an act of God.

Well shit, now my marriage to a blowup doll who I traded for a coke addict on "Wife Swap" and later divorced while she was dying in the hospital so I could marry a my cousin solely for the sake of producing a creepy kid who can play "Dueling Banjos" and lure in unsuspecting tourists to a robbery and/or sodomy means absolutely nothing because Maryland...
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New title for me: failed author in training.

So let's see, the Colts suck, my job is still royally fucking me (but at least they're using lube now!), I still haven't made any progress on the literary front (though at least I have the excuse of being too busy writing the pieces required of my last year in grad school), I'm having still more money...
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As of today, I receive $79/month in food stamps. I'm now officially one step closer to being white trash.

Everyone knows that Republicans are all against government assistance, thinking that Americans should do things for themselves. So why are they so hell-bent against letting Iraqis and Afghans do things for themselves and so insistent that our government's forces remain in their countries? Oh my God, you know what this means? REPUBLICANS ARE CREATING A WELFARE STATE IN THE MIDDLE EAST! SOMEBODY CALL FOX NEWS!...
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Last night, I made a $5 bet that I'd be famous in five years. At the pub I went to, I noticed several people had left American dollar bills with their names written on them in marker and posted it to the wall. All I had on me was a five, so I signed my name, the date, then added "Future famous author (five years)."...
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So yeah, I'm in Dublin now for a few days; did I not mention anything about that earlier?

I'm a fool, and I started another novel, which, like the first one I finished, is going to be part one of a trilogy. I forgot who it was, but there was some author who once said that he did some of his best work on the days when he felt no inspiration and generally found himself wanting to do anything but write, but forced...
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My messed up sleeping schedule is really starting to fuck with my body and mind. When I woke up from my nap between shifts yesterday it took me almost five minutes to remember what day it was. 5:00 AM work shifts, followed by a nap, then occasionally followed by a 3 PM to 11 PM work shift? Yeah, it's having an effect.

In other news,...
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