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The last time I had my heart broken, I don't think I put it back together again the right way. I suppose that would explain why it's hurting so much now.
I haven't written much here in a while -- and the last time I did, things weren't exactly going swimmingly -- but I feel like a bit of shameless self-promotion here. In the past several months, I've worked my ass off not only writing a novel but literally starting my own publishing company. It's officially legit now, with a federal tax ID number and a...
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yceberg324:
I am all over this...
I never thought I'd feel this sort of emotional hurt ever again. I never thought I 'd feel like I wasn't good enough to the extent that I do now ever again. I never thought I'd feel this unwanted ever again. Guess I was wrong on all counts.
jekyllandhyde:
I seriously thought I was too old for this shit....
psychozannah:
Unfortunately we're never too old to experience hurt:/ Keep your head up luv!:)<3
I've had my heart broken again. At 30 years old, having been through this before, I thought it would get easier to handle, but it's actually harder. I'm not good right now.
So, I finished writing another novel this week. A few days of line editing work and then I'll start the book design process -- this time, however, I'm doing it right, with ISBN numbers and the whole thing. Why, you ask? Because... I'm starting my own publishing house. Applying for a business license, setting up a separate business bank account, acting as my own designer...
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I kind of want to have a kid just so I can one day have the following exchange:
KID: Dad, what caused the Big Bang?
ME: God ripped the tag off a mattress.
desdmonia:
Heh. I do not want kids ever. Too much responsibility, and in me lives a little girl already. You will be a good father someday.Â
So, I finished another long-form project; this one a science fiction screenplay that's basically about loneliness. It's 126 pages long, based on a short story I wrote when I lived in Baltimore. I'm rather proud of it. The next quixotic step, of course: what to do with it....
teddykev:
Writting's a very therapeutic  exercise. I use to write quite a bite but now well kinda fell off the wagon I guess. Should definitely get back into it. It's always nice when you write something you ate proud of that to me is a great reward :-)
desdmonia:
Print it, come to VA and let me read it :)Â
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
desdmonia:
lookin good!
teddykev:
Always good to have & outlet. Krav Maga most definitely serious.respect.
Theres this one kid at work whos being bullied by several of the others there, and its breaking my heart. Hes such a sweet person kind of mentally slow, but in that innocent way where he just wants to be happy. Ive been doing everything I can to keep him separated from these other boys, but the damn rules by which I have to abide...
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moparhyde:
That shit gets me fucking furious, I would go in there and pull those assholes aside and have 'words' to them, and if they kept doing it, then the gloves would come off. I hate bullies! 
What goes around comes back stronger! But thats just me, and I dont really know the politics of your workplace, so only you really know the options, sorry I couldnt offer any better advice than 'fuck those assholes up!'
What goes around comes back stronger! But thats just me, and I dont really know the politics of your workplace, so only you really know the options, sorry I couldnt offer any better advice than 'fuck those assholes up!'
moparhyde:
Ps I just read what you did for a job, I guess my advice would not work in your situation. Sorry. Kids can be real assholes. I was on the receiving end of that sort of thing as a kid, until I got bigger than them, and well lets just say they didnt bully anyone again. I will always stand up against bullies. Two thumbs up for doing the job you do! 
An old piece (that I may have posted before, for which I'm sorry if I have), but these stories from my time working at homeless shelters in Baltimore have never left me, and they came to my mind tonight and would not go away. My only recourse about such situations is to write about them, but these I had already written about; so, in lieu...
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I'm baaaaaaack....
So, let's see here... I'm still working at the Austin Children's Shelter, even though Child Protective Services is now investigating the incident I reported to them and my management's dishonest response to it (which I also reported), so who knows how long I'll last before people in the upper echelons start to piece together who blew the whistle on their bullshit. I'm also...
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So, let's see here... I'm still working at the Austin Children's Shelter, even though Child Protective Services is now investigating the incident I reported to them and my management's dishonest response to it (which I also reported), so who knows how long I'll last before people in the upper echelons start to piece together who blew the whistle on their bullshit. I'm also...
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luxlee:
I totally remember but didn't realize you'd moved! that's pretty crazy!
luxlee:
it's fucking awesome. I'm never leaving
"Real Talk"
Whenever any of the teens at my shelter are about to say something that they want me to know is completely true and has no element of humor or sarcasm in it, they preface the statement by saying, Real talk," so, seeing as how Im about to talk quite a bit about my job and all that has transpired in the past few...
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Whenever any of the teens at my shelter are about to say something that they want me to know is completely true and has no element of humor or sarcasm in it, they preface the statement by saying, Real talk," so, seeing as how Im about to talk quite a bit about my job and all that has transpired in the past few...
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pax_:
Don't feel bad about what you did. It was 100% the right thing to do. I hope that something good comes of this, not only for the kids at the shelter but for you as well. 
yceberg324:
I want to tell you not to worry. That everything will be alright. That may or may not be true. But you went out on a limb to relocate back to Austin for this job. You went out on a limb and against the grain to do the right thing in this situation. I have to believe that even in this time and world, that societal and culturally correct behaviors are rewarded. I have to believe that for my kids sake...