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I’m drunk, I’m lonely, I’m pissed off, and I hate life right now. How’s your night?

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I'm having a bad night. I have a crush on a woman (ugh, I sound like I'm back in high school...) that is causing me some small degree of anxiety because of the uncertainty surrounding it all, I'm getting attacked by overly negative thoughts that I know do not speak the truth, and, after a week of insomnia, I'm tired on the one night I...
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At 32 years of age, today I got my first tattoo (yeah, I'm a late bloomer). Now, does anyone know what this is? (Here's a hint in the form of a question: who else has this tattoo?)

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Last night I had a rather lengthy conversation with a woman (with occasional input from her husband) -- who attempted to work in my field but quickly found out she wasn't cut out for it -- that ended with her giving me a surprisingly long hug. She then said, "I get the feeling you haven't had one of those for a damn long time, and...
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Last night at work a volatile teenager, who had been involved in a vicious fight two nights prior, was feeling emotionally distraught and started to badly miss her family. She called her mom to try and feel better; her mom hung up on her, and this tough girl started full-on crying. This is why I drink.

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After getting home from what was hands-down the single most fucked up first date I've ever been on, I think it's time for me to take a long look in the mirror and wonder where my wife went wrong....

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I think I'm going to start using the word "Batman" as an adjective to signify something awesome -- as in, "Man, that bottle of Pinotage was Batman."

I have a lot of good ideas.

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"I suppose I want just what everyone else wants: for people to know what's in my head. Oh, we come up with elaborate ways to prevent that from happening, but that's only because it's what we really do want. We want someone to know what we really are, and we want someone to love that, and we want to be able to love that they...
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This... this monologue from "Magnolia," from a character who is on his deathbed.... So. Damn. Good....

"I loved her so. And she knew what I did. She knew all the fucking stupid things I'd done. But the love... was stronger than anything you can think of. The goddamn regret. The goddamn regret! Oh, and I'll die. Now I'll die, and I'll tell you what... the...
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I'm having a shit week -- one of those that makes me take assessment of my life and wonder if there's anything major that I've tried or fought for at which I haven't failed. Not for lack of ambition, or lack of effort, just... failed.

But I'm not quitting anything -- not because I'm strong or anything, or because I'm noble or wise, but simply...
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My dad tells me he was at a health clinic and they were handing out free condoms and he thought about getting some for me but decided against it because, "Well, Austin, it's not like you have any need of them." I'm not sure what the most awkward part of that was....